admitted diverting, freaking out

  1. I am an L&D nurse in CO. I had my review and was told someone suspected me of diverting narcotics. I admitted that I did once last year after I had surgery. My manager told me that she would write a final warning, one more and i'm fired and reported to the BON. she said that she still need to talk to admin (CNO), HR, and pharmacy. She asked if I would do a random drug screen, and I said yes, anytime!! I didn't get a call to do one yesterday. I can pass one anytime. I haven't really slept all night. In a way I'm mad I told the truth. I don't want to lose my license. It was a stupid thing to do.
    Maybe I'm jumping to the worse case scenario, but I'm already wondering if I should talk to an attorney, self report to PAS, or where I can possibly work in my small town if I am suspended. I am trying to stay calm and wait and see, but this really sucks. I'm not sure if the waiting is worse than knowing....
    thanks for listening
  2. Visit delivern profile page

    About delivern

    Joined: Mar '13; Posts: 6
    RN/ obgyn; from US
    Specialty: 14 year(s) of experience


  3. by   TXRN2
    for me, that freaking out feeling lasted a long time. & yes, it is hard to wait- not knowing what is coming up. but, that's all you can do- wait, then do whatever they tell you- to a "T". it's definitely not easy- but is doable. best of luck- keep us posted!
  4. by   HunnieBadger
    If they don't report you to the BON, you are extremely blessed and take it as a huge lesson learned! I hope for you this is the case, self reporting and being caught in this web is the worst thing I have faced in life yet to date. I actually meet with my board monitor this morning for the first time. I pray she's not too hard on me and that this time in my life will pass quickly and smoothly! Best of luck to you!!
  5. by   delivern
    thanks. I've been a nurse for 14 years. I've known for a long time it kind of defines who I am, at least to me. This is scary if I do get a final warning, and not reported to the BON, I'll feel like the luckiest girl in the world with the biggest slap in the face wake up call ever. Until I find out I don't want to tell anyone, and I hate not having anyone to talk to. I've been through a lot in life and I'm sure I'll get through this too!
  6. by   HunnieBadger
    Well you do have us here, and although we don't "know" you we do know the problems you're up against! I completely understand not being able to talk to anyone, I chose to keep my issues private. The only one who knows the truth is my husband and my ex-employer.
  7. by   dishes
    Talk to an attorney.
  8. by   ClearBlueOctoberSky
    I have no advice to give for you, but I do wish you positive thoughts. I would suggest that you make your location more general, to give you some privacy.
  9. by   Umberlee
    I admitted diverting to my employer. I wasn't even under suspicion, I just thought I was and so I spilled every detail thinking that being honest was the best route to take. Boy, was I wrong!

    I don't regret being put on a contract (I'm in Colorado too, we may even be in the same area from the sound of things) and while I hated PAS at first, I have grown to grudgingly respect the good that has come about in my life because of it. I do regret getting myself fired and having to start all over in my career having sunk 12 years into a place from whence I now have no references and am just waiting to fall off the front page of my rsum and work history.

    If I could go back, I would still have told my employer I had a problem but I would never have admitted diverting. You're in a tough spot because now if they come to you wanting you to sign something admitting your actions, you can guarantee it will be used against you at some point but if you refuse, they could fire you.

    As far as the BON goes, their task lies in protecting the safety of the public. Diversion is an extremely slippery slope, and if you have admitted to doing it, you are absolutely at high risk to do it again in the future. As tough as it is being on a contract, I don't find Colorado to be nearly as punitive as it sounds other states are, though dealing with being "blacklisted" as a PAS client and having to navigate the program with extremely flaky case-managers and directors gets really old, really fast.

    I'm not sure what I would do if I were in your shoes. I would be most afraid of being let go and then being reported to the board anyway. I'd be almost certain that you'll be reported. Maybe when you finally get called in to discuss your diversion, tell them that you will do whatever it takes to prove that you are and will continue to be safe to practice and that you are willing to self-report for PAS. Whatever you can do to keep your job, because while being on PAS can sure suck, nothing is worse than losing your job history and reputation.
  10. by   hopper812
    what would be criminal charges for a nurse and prescriptions? I think it is the not knowing what is coming next that is killing me. Should I do HPMP? I am freaking out any advice would be appreciated.
  11. by   hopper812
    praying fo all who are in this situation
  12. by   delivern
    well, I was on call thursday night, and I worked friday night and saturday night. I guess so far I still have a job. haven't heard anything else yet. it's like waiting for the other shoe to drop. thanks for the comments everyone.
  13. by   hopper812
    I understand the feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. It is a terrible feeling. When I was let go I asked the question is this going to affect my license. My Sup said no I do not have anything to report. Then one month later I get a letter from the BON saying thet are investigating me. I have talked to a lawyer but I still do not know anything yet. He mentioned crimminal charges maybe and I thought my heart was going to stop. I never stole or diverted they were my own Rx's written by the Md I worked with on a daily basis. I hate this not knowing anf the fear of the unknown. My prayers are with you all right now!!
  14. by   wish_me_luck
    Hopper, what state are you in? I only ask because you say HPMP. In some states that is the name of their monitoring program and other times, people just use that as an abbreviation for any monitoring program. I am in VA. Ours is called HPMP. If you are in the same state, I have a thread going about HPMP, specifically. I do not know about the BON part because mine was not for diversion.