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Discussion

Nurses please help me. I'm crying right now. need your advice.

I'm really stressed out right now and I'm basically bawling my eyes out. Some of you have seen my earlier post about not doing well in nursing school. I've realized that I have posted it in the wrong forum. Now I am going to explain in more details.

I'm in nursing in a university (in Canada) and I'm doing okay. Right now I am getting C+/B in my courses. I have a hearing disability and have done so well in high school, and the nursing program I am in right now is actually competitive. Plus, the nursing faculty has shown me tremendous support to help succeed in nursing with my disability.

But here's my story: I've wanted to be a doctor. So I was determined to get into a science program (not biology major, I've wanted to do an astronomy program) until I did a co-op placement in high school. I've gained valuable insight into nurses' careers and not so much in doctors' because I don't see them as much as nurses. That's how I've decided to be a nurse and applied for two nursing schools, but the decision of actually beocming a nurse was only tentative. I was telling myself that I will make up my mind about becoming a nurse or not later on.

My family is poor. Very poor. That's the story of my life. As of the moment, there's any chance that we are becoming evicted. We are not really becoming homeless, but the moment we leave the house because we cannot afford to pay the mortgage or the bills anymore, we have no house to go to anymore. We may have to go to stay over at my grandmother's house and until then, we will look for an apartment to rent.

This is just one example of how diffficult the financial situation has been for my situation. I'm a child (with other three siblings) of a single parent and I've been like that for my entire life. Seeing and watching the struggle to make ends as a single parent, I made a vow to myself that I will get a good career and make money that i can actually use to PUT FOOD ON MY PLATE. not to buy a luxurious house with a fancy swimming pool or to buy desinger clothes. I want to be able to support myself and my family without having to ask anyone for money.

So i changed my mind and went into nursing. truth be told, I wasn't really sure of my decision of going into nursing. Before I finalized my decision, I've been debating of going into science or nursing. I'm glad I'm in nursing now because I am now able to have a job to be able to put food in my mouth and my children's (i don't have children - I'm only 18). Now that I'm in nursing school, I'm finding it difficult to adjust. I know first year is always difficult but I feel alone and with the situation of leaving my house, I just don't know what to do.

Perhaps after nursing school, I can work as a nurse and then go back to school for further education to increase my salary. I know you might tell me to drop out right now and go into science, but that's not an option for me. Both my sisters completed their bachelors in science and psychology courses and for five years, they don't have any job. AT ALL. i'm not kidding at all. one of them has been applying for med school for two years and didn't make it. She has debts to pay off and both of them have been looking for a job everywhere. this has been difficult for my family. Practically I'm the first child in my whole family who will be able to obtain a job after completing university. So I was really the 'lucky one'.

I don't want to make the same mistake as my sisters. Really. That's why I was so determined to get through nursing school and to get a job. Again to remind you guys, it may seem like that I'm going into nursing for money, but that's not truth. i want to be able to feed myself, have a roof over my head and my family's, be able to pay the bills, etc. Not to be a rich billionaire.

Now my friends are failing the exams and one of them told me that she's dropping out. This is causing my stress level to skyrocket. My family encouraged me to go into nursing becuase they don't want me to make the same mistake they mad.e They told me that if I really really really hate nursing, i can always switch. But the thing is, i can't just do that. A) i won't have a job after completing the science program b) the nursing school's support for me is unparalleled c) i want to go into healthcare and be involved in patient care and interaction, and nursing is the ideal career for me. I thought the patient interaction was just perfect for me. d) i need money after school to support myself.

Thank you so much for listening to my rant.

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    I'm sorry for the grammar errors. I was not really thinking well.

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    I'm sorry...... I have the same financial issues but I am much much MUCH older than you and have a house I am having to give up after 18 years so that I can continue to pay for nursing school out of pocket. Hey, life moves forward, we do what we have to do to reach our goal. A house is brick and mortar, it can be replaced. The stress is not so easy to deal with, trust me, I know. But I am in nursing school this late in life after the ex walked out and there was no way I was going to be able to continue supporting myself on a legal secretary salary. You chose a field you are interested in, at a young age, and you need to make that happen. (I wish I had done this twenty years ago!) You will NEVER be sorry you completed nursing school. Guided imagery!!!! Try that, yoga, meditation......anything you can do to help with the stress and get through it.

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    • Author

    Thank you. The stress is just too much for me to handle . I keep reminding myself that it will get better but that seems distinct and so far away.

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    Does your school offer counseling? Could be someone has an answer to your financial situation which would alleviate some of your emotional pain. And your parents are right, whatever you do now is temporary, unless you decide otherwise. You do not have to plan your whole life right now. I would also talk to financial aid

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    Oh, honey, one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. You will have a career, you will have a future, you will. Never, never underestimate the importance of the support you have from your faculty; that is more than half of your battle right there.

    It WILL get better. Yesterday is already past; you're a month closer to your goals today than you were on October 1. Sometimes all we can do is live day by day, even hour by hour, but inevitably the time does pass.

    Here's something I learned to do when my mind was racing and my fears were piling up (I was a single mother for a long time, with no financial security, thank god the kids were smart and we were all healthy). I would close my eyes and breathe in and out through my nose, feeling the air going in and out and not thinking about anything else. Slow inhale, 1-2-3-4, hold it, 1-2-3-4, slow exhale 1-2-3-4, hold, 1-2-3-4. Of course the thoughts would keep intruding, but the minute I noticed them I went back to deliberately paying attention to the air going in and out, and counting. Twice a day, once when I woke up and once when I went to bed, and maybe for a few minutes around lunchtime or late afternoon. It's uncanny how that would calm me down and get me ready for whatever I had to do next.

    Now I've been doing that for mumblemumble years (as a hint, now my baby has a three-year-old of his own) I find that my mind doesn't bother to try to distract me anymore. It seems to have learned that there's no point, because the minute I catch it doing that I shut it off. :) Best part about it is it's completely free, you can do it anywhere with or without clothes :), and you can really chang your brain architecture for the good.

    It will get better. It will get better. You have a future as a nurse; you write well and are clearly thoughtful. The future will take care of itself, trust that. One day at a time. Stay in touch and let us know how you're doing.

    Here's a big hug! {{succinate}}

    :flwrhrts:

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    • Author

    Thank you so much for your help. I feel better now. I'm going to get through the nursing school, no matter what comes in my way of reaching the goal.

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