"Nurse Eater" -Toxic Coworkers

[moonshadeau]

Ok, I know that we have all had those people around us when we see that we have to work with that particular person who just makes you feel like you wish you'd called in sick (because you will be sick later on in the shift just from dealing with that person.) This is the story of me and my situation. I have to work with this person that just treats me like crap. For the sake of arguement will call him, Nurse eater. So when you see "nurse eater" he goes out of his way to make snotty remarks to you about how hard his job is just because he has to follow you. "Nurse eater" also makes innuendos about how horrible a nurse you are. My days with nurse eater just bite. Unfortuantely, "nurse eater" is loved by all the other nurses for mostly senority (well say four years of more experience). I will call myself an "old newbie" for the sake of arguement. No one else sees how I am treated by this person because it seems that it is just us two interacting when it happens. I have asked other coworkers if they have a problem with me and they say no. So me, being a very passive and non-confrontational person needs a way to fix this.

I don't need to be told that I am being too sensitive, I know that is part of the problem. Help me with suggestions please.

[rncountry]

Having dealt with this as a newer nurse, and trying my darnest to just do everything right so she would lay off, something that never worked. I left that job. I regret leaving to this day. I loved the work, it challanged me. After that experience I decided that never again would I allow something like that to happen. And I haven't. At some point, hopefully you will decide that you will not allow someone to intimidate you. That is what is going on, not that this nurse doesn't like you, thinks you are poor at what you do or anything else. That nurse has the power to intimidate you and for some that is a wonderful power trip. The one and only person who can control that is you. By standing up for yourself and putting the toxic nurse on notice that the abuse he is hurling at you is unacceptable and will not be tolerated you take control. The nurse is not likely to give the control they have up easily so be prepared, however if you stick to your guns you will find that it will cease. Have I done this myself. You bet. It is hard the first few times, but the end rewards are very worth it. Go on the offense and make that nurse defend their actions. I hope you do. The feeling of being in control of not only your practice but your life is empowering. Once you take that step no one will be able to intimidate you again.

[RNBell]

I faced a similar situation when I first started my job. However, the attitude that I took was I'm here for my patients and if this person doesn't want to have a good coworker relationship then too bad. I decided to just do my best and try to let unpleasant comments roll off. If a comment or behavior became too bothersome I did make a note of it in a journal explaining the situation, in case the matter became too out of hand. Fortunately, I did not have to use the info because the situation eventually became better. However, had it not, and if the situation became unbearable or disrupted my ability to provide good patient care, I would have asked to sit with the nurse manager and the fellow nurse to discuss the problem.(using my written log of events to show the pattern of behavior and requesting it be to be stopped.)

[Brownms46]

I had a nurse eater, as my preceptor, when I went to work right after graduating! She made feel as dumb, and incompetent, as she possibly could! We worked in a county NICU, and she kept me in level 3, with the vent babies the whole time! I couldn't do anything to please her! She also was the crown jewel of the unit! Why? Because everyone else had become used to her! They did have work under her, and excused her actions, because she a dang good nurse,...but she felt, that if you couldn't take her harassment, you didn't belong in the unit!

One day, another fellow student, that had graduated with me, and come into the unit at the same time, and I, were asked to work a nite shift, because they were short. This nurse went around making statements like, "Lord, I hope these babies survive"! Well the babies survived, and we did too!

Before I ended my internship, I went to the Head Nurse, who was totally supportive, and was unaware, that this person was interacting with me this way, because she had no complaints about me, when asked how was I doing!

I later learned, that this was the way she acted with all new nurses, and med students for that matter! It didn't help to find this out, as while I was under her thumb, I was miserable! After I got out from under her, a resident remarked how much more comfortable, and confident I seemed! I never said a word.

One thing that this nurse may have not thought about, but being able to survive working with her, made me a very strong nurse! While I wouldn't wish her on my worst enemy, she did me a favor, by driving me to be better than I might have been. Not saying it's right to deal with people like this...far from it! I don't believe you should brow beat anyone to help them achieve. I also don't take any crap anymore! But I knew she had the knowledge I needed, and I played to that! Most times people like this, enjoy having their ego stroked. So ask for this person's help in helping you become a better nurse, whether you need his/her assistance or not! Staying away him/her, only makes them want to go after you more.

Just try going up to them, and asking questions, and for their suggestions. Since you tend to shy away from confrontations, this would be a better way to get this person off your back.

Brownie

[emphysemeJack]

hmm...sounds so familiar with my previous experienced.it makes me so sad that these people in the nursing profession still exist,these people as you addressed them as "nurse eater" have nothing to offer in the nursing profession..they could never be called a good nurse model for the new nurses.

[nurseinlimbo]

The more that you let it show that it bothers you,, the more the Nurse Eater wins. I have dealt with a few, and mostly I try to ignore them because I know that I am doing the best job that I know how to do. If what they are commenting on is legitimate, I do my best to change if it's necessary. If I catch them doing something or missing something that they would normally chastise me for, I make a point of letting them know that I noticed their oversight or mistake. It usually stops then, because they don't like to be wrong. I think people who act like this are really just showing their own insecurity and maybe pick on you because everyone else has stood up to them.

Good luck, I know it's hard, I prefer to work in a facility where I am the only nurse for just this reason, and at shift change try to ignore comments. I no longer worry about the things that are said behind my back, because if I didn't hear it, it didn't happen.