Not going for the gold right now...

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Hey everyone. I dont think I want to be a nurse anymore. I am a senior student in my critical care rotation right now and i just feel like a total screw up. This is my third week out of 4 and I haven't even given meds yet. I have basically just watched everyone else do everything. I am being as assertive as I can be, without being disrespectful. I feel like the nurses on my unit think i am a complete idiot and they wont show me or teach me anything. And that is what is really frustrating - I LOVE critical care because you get one or two patients with all of these problems to solve and figure out what is going on and what you have to do for them. But my instructor thinks that she is giving me "corrective criticism" and she is really just throwing me under the bus confidence-wise. I have not done ANYTHING for my patients, like I said before, I havent even given meds yet and I am on my 2nd to last week of experience on this unit and feel like I have taken nothing away with me. On top of the fact that every single week so far, my instructor rips me a new "you-know-what" on my paperwork, and I have other instructors look at it and they say my thinking is on the right track....I dont know if I am just letting my emotions overwhelm me or if I am truly not cut out for this stuff...I feel like I am being singled out with the way they all treat me. I had so much respect for the MICU nurses when I first walked on that floor and now I can only tolerate to speak with certain ones - the ones who are willing to take the time to show me things and give me or help me with rationale that I need to know. I WANT to touch all this stuff with someone there who knows how to fix it in case i screw it up, I WANT to do everything for this patient, but I think I must have done something to make them lose confidence in me that now they dont feel as though I am worthy enough to even dump the urimeter every hour. Please help - what should I do? I have clinical tomorrow and I am determined to get my learning experience from this rotation because I thought at one point this was where I wanted to work, but I HATE nursing now. So much that I want to drop out. I feel like I just cant do this. What is wrong with me???? I had 100% confidence when I walked in and had no problems asking question or looking up what I didnt know, but now, I feel like a first grader who just got in trouble becuase my best response is OH I can give a bed bath if you want. I feel like that is all I know. is it anxiety?????:banghead:

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I don't know how to help you, but I just wanted to say hang in there and get through it. Don't let just one bad experience ruin it all for you. Graduate and then you are free to get all the experience you want in critical care. I'm sorry that you are having a rough time. :redpinkhe:icon_hug:

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Yeah I agree with Cherry, you went through SOOO much and to just walk away because of a few measley weeks. Look at the bigger picture, quit beating yourself up. This is your last hurdle for a while.

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I think if you hated nursing you would have known before now. It is just the experience that you hate and I don't blame you... but if you leave now because of this one rotation I think you will look back and beat yourself up about it. Just tough it out... in the grand scheme of your nursing career this will be a blip...I promise. Hugs:icon_hug:

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just because this one class isn't what you enjoy...doesn't mean being a nurse is the same. you can ask ANY nurse and they'll tell you,"it's nothing like school, they can't teach you how to be a nurse in school". and yea, if you didn't wanna be a nurse, i think you woulda realized it a while ago. i don't like some of my classes or classmates, but i know it's just school..not the real world(for the most part haha). but you can always work somewhere else or in a different setting...it's not the ultimatum.

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I just wanted to thank everyone who gave a little push. Its hard when you try to explain stuff to people who arent in the know and they just dont get it. Its really awesome to have this site as a resource to just cry out and random people who you dont even know can give you encouragement from thousands of miles away. thank you so much for reading my long BLAAAAH and for giving me a boost when i was just about to rip my head off!!!!:pumpiron::thankya:

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