I'm 42 and have been a nurse for a year...not old, but started at an age when my body was beginning to let me know its limits. You all know that when you're new you pretty much have to work some night shifts (in most situations, anyway). Well, I'm trying. First, I would wake up the next afternoon in full-blown anxiety attacks (which I've had before, but not in years). That slowed down, but now I'm getting migraines, which I've NEVER had before. My supervisor said that nobody is promised straight days, but of course the ones who are on days have been there a lot longer and will not switch. A girl who was hired two months before me was not promised straight days, either. However, she absolutely REFUSES to work nights, and is very blunt about it.
We are a small hospital...25 beds, 4-bed ER, out-patient testing & clinic. So, with the number of nurses we have, there are 14 day shifts to be filled in a week (2 per shift if census is low), but there are 15 available to be worked by the nurses (varying degrees of employment, .3, .6, .9). So, that leaves 3-4 day shifts a month where there is no room for me. My sup IS trying, I guess, and agreed to give me only one in a week, which is better, but it's like it takes me a week to recover. I can't win for losing and am getting very frustrated. I don't want to work somewhere else...it takes me TWO minutes to get to work, and anywhere else would be a pain-in-the-butt drive (it's pretty cool taking care of people who watched me grow up). There's always the nursing home...which I love dearly and miss...but I don't want to do that full-time and lose all that I've learned med-surg wise; I want to keep learning. Plus, benefits are better, hosp will pay for BSN, etc. I don't want to go back to casual status or drop to .6 (two days a week) because there is no guarantee the census will stay at a point where they will need me a third day a week.
My doc is aware and said he'd put something in writing if I wanted, but I don't want to jeopardize my job and have my sup say, 'well, you can't be flexible like we talked about in the interview, so hit the road.' Of course, the other girl refuses to be flexible, and I'm biding my time, being patient, living with the pain & aggrevation, waiting it out, doing the right thing. I know she could do the right thing & put my physical well-being over the other girl's attitude...
I just really needed to vent. Yes, I'm looking for sympathy, ideas, encouragement, ANYTHING...I really, really love my job and don't want to leave.
