Night shift + debilitating depression

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I desperately need help. I'm a new grad and I'm almost off of orientation. So far I've worked a couple weeks of nights, but mostly days. I do great on days. I'm happier, and my preceptors have all said I'm doing excellent. On nights I'm a completely different person. I'm depressed, I cry at work at times (hasn't yet interfered with patient care) and it just sucks. I sleep alright during the day usually and have always been a bit of a night owl.

The other thing is...I'm bipolar 2. So I have debilitating gut wrenching depression and overwhelming suicidal ideation. It's horrific. And scary. It's been very touch and go for about a month now.

So so I believe I'm technically part time since that's all that was available to me but everyone wants me to try and do a third shift each weeks. But I just don't know that I can with my mental health. It's kind of caused me to question whether I'm cut out for nursing.

Please help.

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You have to take care of you first and foremost - especially with the mental health issues you deal with. It's obvious from your post that night shift just does not work for you and exacerbates your mental health struggles. If you can't get on day shift then you need to look for another job where you can work days or at least a semblance of them. You will be pushed to work nights because most new grads are however, NO job is worth your well being over the long haul. Even as a new grad there are non-hospital based positions where you could work days - may not be your first choice but would be a heck of a lot better than suicidal idealizations and being off balance. Take care of yourself first, the employer certainly will.

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The only problem right now is that I'm under contract at my hospital though 😕

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Hope you are seeing a mental health professional to help you deal with your issues. This is too much to handle on your own. I can sympathize with you---I have bipolar I and had problems with night shifts as well, even though I preferred them over days. It's hard on the body, and for people with bipolar disorder it makes it tough to take care of ourselves properly. Our medication schedules get messed up, and our sleep is never completely restorative because we're going against our circadian rhythms.

If you're not seeing someone or taking medication, please consider it. Suicidal ideation is nothing to take lightly! A primary-care provider isn't enough; they're not trained in psych and IMHO have no business prescribing for a patient with bipolar. I'm assuming no one at your job knows about it. Keep it that way if you can---no good comes from disclosing a mental health diagnosis at work unless you need accommodations. It doesn't sound like you do.

Wishing you the very best of luck. I feel for you, hon. ((((HUGS))))

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Can't requesting only working day shift be considered an accommodation for bipolar or depression because of the reasons given above?

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