Newish nurse continues to hate job after the golden "one year". Normal?

[newrnonthefloor]

Hello,

I am a registered nurse with a year of experience under my belt. I have been at my current job for one year, during which I have hated the job since I started but attempted to make the best of it. I got this position on bad terms meaning, I was forced into it by HR (literally) and was told to accept it or they would never hire me otherwise. I go through periods where I think I can stay here at this position long term (mainly due to the staff on the floor being so great) but the floor I work on is toxic and has a bad reputation amongst the whole hospital I work at for being chronically understaffed and unsafe, both in which are true. I worry about my license constantly and the manager here does not have our backs. With a year under my belt I'm second most senior on this floor with most of the floor consisting of new grads who have been trained by nurses with as much (or as little) experience as I have.

I have to say I have learned a lot on this floor, but on my days off I spend them all upset and dreading going back. Since starting my moods have been all over the place and crying day to day is slowly becoming the norm. I'm not normally like this, especially at my other job where it's like night and day compared to this. I fear if I stay here it is going to cause long term negative effects to my health (if it hasn't already). I'm starting to HATE nursing, and it isn't nursing I hate, it is this job which has been clear to me from the get-go.

I'm at a loss of what to do. My current manager block transfers to other units so I will be stuck here at least another year before I will be let go, but I don't know if I can last that long. The hospital I work at is under one big umbrella so essentially quitting here would mean quitting the hospital all together for the time being. I am unionized so my seniority/benefits will transfer with me. I current pick up causally in LTC, a job I adore since I have been working there since being a student as a CCA and now an RN. I know I can eventually go back to the hospital on another floor in the future but the thought of leaving, even though this job is seriously beginning to effect my personal health scares me.

I'm okay money wise as I was able to pay for my BSN out of pocket since I worked through my degree. I also have a healthy savings account and am in a position where I could be unemployed (if need be) for a while. My end goal here is becoming a NP, but where I live I need another year of experience. So I'm just looking for some advice. I feel like I should just quit and be done with it and make the transition to PT/FT at my other causal job before this job breaks me. I even considered the option of possibly going on a leave of absence for the time being and figuring things out. I don't know what to do anymore...

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

There is no reason why you should not dip your toe into other pools after one year. If you are this miserable there isn't really a need to stick it out.. If you love your other job, why NOT just go FT there? Why stay where you are miserable?

Just be sure to have another job lined up before you quit and give two weeks notice in writing. I would avoid a leave of absence unless absolutely necessary.

[Xance]

If the hospital controls all of the hospitals in the area you may consider moving. Go to another large city in your state and you won't have a problem finding a job there and you won't have to deal with that stuff you are dealing with. I suggest that as you mentioned you have a nice financial position which was a really wise action which allows you this option. You have a year of experience, don't like the job, and find it difficult to work elsewhere in your city. It might be time to move where the job market is better.

Alternatively you can try to bypass your unit manager. That might not be advisable but it can be done by going over and around their head. Talk to other units department managers or go to your unit managers boss. Mind you that option can potentially be a bridge-burner but you would have to do that action tactfully and carefully.