Newer nursing on stepdown. Struggling and depressed, please help.

[michigan94]

Hello. I’m about 7 months in to my first nursing job and seriously need some advice. I accepted a job on a cardiac stepdown unit out of school because I wanted to get the best experience possible, and while I’ve definitely learned a lot, I’ve hated every minute of it since I got off orientation. On my unit I get between 4-5 patients, commonly on drips, patients going into V tach/etc. all the time, constant admits and discharges on top of trying to keep a close eye on my unstable patients. Whenever something unexpected happens my anxiety gets out of control. And while I know patients/families are under stress and don’t mean it I’m tired of being treated with disrespect when I’m just trying to do my best. I stay almost an hour late everyday, never take a break and when I do I will get 10 calls from people about my patients. I truly tried to stay positive and just think of the experience but my days only seem to get worse and I cannot handle it. I feel like my mental health has deteriorated so much since working here. I have breakdowns a lot at work and my personality overall has just changed for the worse, both in and outside of work. The nurses/manager on my unit are nice and helpful but that only does so much. I’m so disappointed because I worked for 4 years as a CNA on a neuro/tele floor and loved it. I thought nursing was my thing. I miss just being able to focus on my patients and not have to deal with other issues all day. And now that I worked so hard to get where I am I absolutely hate it. Sometimes I wonder if I made the wrong career choice entirely. I wanted to stick it out for a year like everyone suggests but I just don’t see how it will do me any good at this point because I’m just so unhappy. I have an interview for an OR position and I’m praying it goes well. I don’t know much about OR nursing besides what I’ve researched on here but I do believe it would be a better fit for me. Does anyone have suggestions on other specialties that may suit me if this doesn’t work out? And any information on OR nursing would be greatly appreciated. And as for my mental health, what can I do? I know I can’t be the only one who’s felt this way. I just really need some advice. ? thank you.

[myoglobin, ASN, BSN, MSN]

Yours sounds like a difficult and possibly unsafe place to practice. I would consider at least the following options:

a. Try to move to ICU, at least it is a max of two (or sometimes three at unsafe places) with less discharges (instead you will usually transfer to lower level of care).

b. As I told my SO IF I was to stay in bedside (I'm going into role of PMHNP) it would have to be in California as this is the only state that mandates ratios, breaks and lunch breaks (ICU max 2/1, PCU max 3/1, and Med/tele max 4 to 1). Lift teams are also very common while here in Florida finding a lift team is up there with spotting a Skunk Ape (rare, and probably a false sighting).