New RN in peds cardiac, FREAKED OUT

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I recently started my first RN job at a Children's hospital on a cardiac floor.

I passed my NCLEX in 75 questions (still can't believe it) and I did well in nursing school (B+/A- average). Now, anatomy was the hardest class I ever took and cardiac is one of the systems I really struggle with. I've been brushing up on peds cardiac patho and cardiac drugs but I honestly go onto the floor and I'm freaked out all the time that a kid is going to deteriorate and I won't recognize the signs.

I know I just started nursing and I'm only a few weeks in, however, I feel SO INCOMPETENT!! I feel like everyone around me is progressing amazingly and I'm still ten steps behind.

I'm at my dream job right out of school yet theres been days that I just want to come home and cry, and I've only just started! I don't know what to do besides pray that one day soon I'll actually feel confident in my skills and abilities and not feel so scared of a kid crashing all the time. I feel like a crap nurse.

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Many of the feelings you describe are common for all new grads. You aren't alone; the only way out is through. Keep working hard and you'll get there.

I'm guessing the orientation is extensive (several months). Be honest with your preceptor about areas where you struggle so that you can focus on those. Be sure to ask for help when you need it.

I've found that resources designed for families are immensely helpful, especially for cardiac defects/conditions. Cardiac can be tricky on it's own, even before you bring in all of the congenital defects seen in kiddos. Websites for parents are designed to break the info down into manageable pieces--really user-friendly for beginners. My faves are the Cincinnati Children's website (the Heart Encyclopedia for explanations and and HeartPedia for visuals), Stanford's Lucile Packard CHD website, and Neumors Children's heart defects website; all cited below:

Heart Encyclopedia

HeartPedia: Interactive App Illustrates Congenital Heart Defects

Congenital Heart Disease

Congenital Heart Defects | Nemours

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