New nurse struggling!!

[Kcv19]

I am looking for some advice!! I recently just ended orientation for my first RN job in the NICU. This hospital is among one of the best in the nation and the state but I'm questioning if maybe it's too intense for me. I know part of my problem is the lack of self confidence and constant self doubt in my skills but at the same time I feel very unsupported by staff since I have personally heard them go around and critique each and every one of the new orientees in my group. I want the experience and like all jobs some days are better than others. However I always wanted to move into A nearby city and work there as well so I'm struggling on what to do!! I don't want to dread going into work or be terrified ALL the time. I know a lot of these feelings are apart of being a new nurse but I do feel like I would grow more if I had a better working environment. I had a bad experience during my orientation where I was told I was doing great by my preceptor then suddenly I was in a meeting with my educator saying how I have a bad attitude and don't want to be here and how I'm slow. (She actually said She thought it takes me a while to process simple tasks!) now I have lost all self confidence and can't trust any of the other nurses when they say I'm doing well or that im ready. My questions are Do i hold out and see if things improve over time? Do I jump right in and go after what I want? How do I know if this is a good fit?

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

Have you shared this information (in your post) with the educator or your manager? If not, I urge you to do so. Your fear of making mistake could be triggering 'paralysis by analysis'.... you are slowing to a crawl because of re-checking & over-thinking everything. It won't get any better without some additional coaching. Your educator and preceptor can't help you if they don't know what is wrong.

As for 'critiquing' from staff... this is part of the learning process. New nurses need to be provided with critical feedback about their performance, so they can identify and take action to correct any performance deficits. Feedback is also necessary to validate what you're doing right! Try not to be defensive. Keep an open mind and realize that the focus is on your performance, not you as a person..

When you are presented with feedback, make sure you actually understand what is being said. This won't happen if you throw up a defensive barrier and feel "picked on". Respectfully ask questions if you don't understand what you're doing wrong. What exactly does the 'right' or 'correct' behavior look like? Is there a criteria that is being used to rate or evaluate? For instance... the phrase "too slow" is ambiguous. You could ask about time parameters... how quickly should the task be performed?

Don't give up yet. Getting started is the hardest part of your nursing career.

[LV3677]

Try not to leave your first job, especially after finishing orientation. It's best to stick it out for a bit and gain some experience.

Self reflect a little: What do you really need to work on? What's making you uncomfortable? What can you do about it? What are your resources? Who can you turn to? What things do you need to work on that can build your confidence? Did you have a bad attitude? What can you improve? You can speak with your preceptor about her concerns. "I heard from the clinical educator that I need to work on such and such. What can I do to improve? Do you have any suggestions?" It's now up to you to make this experience what you want.

You sound stressed. Stress is about how we interpret the environment and how we manage it. Manage your stress; walk your dog, do some retail therapy, go out with the girls or whatever, seek support from your friends.

"Comfortable" should not be in the vocab of the new nurse in any specialty area as it relates to you being on the floor. Do not expect to be "comfortable"- you have so much to learn! And that's okay. Look for those learning opportunities. Strengthen that confidence while maintaining humility and look for opportunities to expand what you know. Ask questions, be involved. "Can you watch me do such and such procedure and give me tips?" "Let me teach back what I just learned about the vent," etc, etc.

There's some quote I consistently see on a frequent poster's tagline- "I never said it was going to be easy, I said it was going to be worth it." Bam.

Best of luck to you.