New nurse seeking encouragement

[NCRN2016]

Hi everyone. I've been reading posts on this site since I started my journey into nursing school, but just became a member today, so hello all! I graduated in December and took my first job this year. Recently I've been feeling very discouraged and can't seem to get my stress under control. I come home from work feeling like there was more that I could've done to better care for my patients, and I'm starting to dread going in every day. I tend to be pretty hard on myself, but more recently it's the attitude of co workers that is getting to me. As a new nurse there is still a lot I don't know, and I ask a lot of questions. I would rather ask a question than act like I know something and cause harm to a patient. I'm starting to catch some attitude from co workers, and nothing can plummet your self confidence as quickly as hearing someone talk about you behind your back when they think you're not around. I'm trying my best to keep up with the fast pace and the learning curve. I know I'm slower, and I can get caught up in the "tasky" part of it all, but I feel like I've improved since starting. The other day while I was working I was moving a patient up to the floor (I work in the emergency department), and didn't give a medication before I got to the floor. Our protocol says we can move patients as soon as they have tuck in orders, and on busy nights they push us to get those patients upstairs as fast as we can. I still don't know if I completely missed the order or if it got put in while I was in transit. When I got the patient upstairs the nurse I was giving report to reemed me pretty hard in front of about 6 other floor nurses for not giving the med. They were already upset because I was bringing someone up close to shift change, and I heard one of the other nurses in the room comment "That must be the b***h she talked to on the phone, makes sense." I left the floor feeling absolutely terrible and can't seem the shake the feeling after a very long and stressful week. If anyone has some words of encouragement or advice on how to deal with this situation I would greatly appreciate it!

[Nurse Beth, MSN]

It sounds like you are centered in that you realize how far you've come and have integrity in that you would rather ask questions than make a mistake.

Centered but shaken. Now consider that the unkind comments are more about the people making them than you. A supportive and encouraging colleague would not talk behind your back.

Set a time goal for yourself, such 3 more months and re-evaluate. In the meantime, hold your head high. Focus on your practice and being the best you can be. Best wishes.

[NotReady4PrimeTime, RN]

Beth's answer is a good one. Don't put too much emphasis on those kinds of comments; as you say, the transfer was near the end of the shift, and everyone is a little crusty at the end of their shifts. Unless the med was an urgent antihypertensive, an antibiotic in a septic patient or a med intended to rapidly correct a glucose imbalance, there was no harm in it being given late. And if you read some of the threads here that discuss the disconnect between departments, where ER nurses complaint that floor nurses don't get how things work in the ER and how busy they are - only to receive responses from floor nurses making the same points... Well, you can see that it's not personal. You're still learning to manage your time and priorities so there's no shame in concentrating on tasks; at the end of the day, those are the absolutes in this job. Once you're into a routine, you'll be able to incorporate more and more of the other bits. As for asking questions, I for one would rather answer your questions than have to help you deal with getting it wrong. Figure out which of the nurses you work with regularly are most receptive to answering your questions and bypass the rest. We're all our own worst critic... don't be quite so hard on yourself. For every thing you do that didn't work out, there are probably a dozen things you did really well. Right?

[Redhead,RN, BSN]

Welcome to nursing! Hospital nurses can be brutal. One of the reasons I got out of it. Life is too short to deal with unhappy witches on a daily basis...