New Nurse...Overcome with Emotions: Bad Sign?

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I just passed my boards last week, and I'm in orientation on an oncology unit at a community hospital.

Last night, I had a feeling about a patient I took a blanket to. He had shaking chills and I hung out with him to comfort him--had the luxury to do so because I'm still in orientation. Just a weird coincidence that I even ended up in his room! He was septic with shaking chills and a rapidly rising temp. He had 2 seizures that I witnessed before he coded. I called the code and started chest compressions w/an MD bagging. We saved his life!! I am still in shock and really full of emotions. Is this normal??

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Were any of you emotional after your first pt death or code?

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Specializes in L&D, PACU.

I haven't had a code yet, but I think what you are describing is 100% normal. A preceptor of mine talked about her first code, and what she described and what you seem to be experiencing seem identical to me.

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My first patient death occured while I was on orientation. The pt had been admitted in a coma and never regained consciousness. The family was with her around the clock and knew the end was imminent. When the patient passed, she was surrounded by loved ones. To this day I do not understand why I was not emotional about this pt. I have been, over my short career, emotionally connected to both patients and their families. I think each nurse connects to patients on different levels and there doesn't seem to be rhyme or reason, at times, who we will make that connection with.

I do not think emotions, in this field of work, are a bad thing at all. It is how they are displayed and what we, as healthcare professionals, do to take care of ourselves after the loss.

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I think I'm okay, as far as taking care of myself. I haven't cried on the floor, but I did cry when I drove home, and I watched the obits like a hawk. Last week, a patient who I spent my whole night with died. It was weird because I came onto my shift JUST after he died--I had spent the previous night with him. He had uncontrollable pain and lots of anxiety. I spent all night calming him down, getting orders for more pain meds, etc. I kept thinking about all the little things that may have helped him. I've been thinking about him since then too. I think I'm alright, but wonder if others have similar emotions. That's all...

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Specializes in Emergency & Trauma/Adult ICU.

It sounds like you did just fine.

And yes, I think the emotions you're feeling are totally normal. When I take a patient from the ER to the unit who I know is not long for this world, I too ask for updates and even look for the obituary.

See this recent thread in the "First Year in Nursing Section" -- another new grad talks about dealing with grieving families.

https://allnurses.com/forums/f224/grieving-families-232020.html

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Specializes in ER, Occupational Health, Cardiology.

You did fine. Besides the obvious, helping during a code, you found out that chills and shaking are signs that don't always indicate that a pt is cold, you witnessed two seizures, plus lots of interventions (intubation, etc) that you wouldn't see during a "normal" day. Observing, helping to your educational level, and the normal human reaction to seeing the decline of another human being are the kinds of stressors that can get you revved up. What would have had me really pumped, though is the fact that you got the pt back!.. Good job!:up:

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Specializes in Hospital Education Coordinator.

Nothing wrong with having emotions, but you will learn how to put on a "game face" around patients and families. I hope you never get so hardened you do not care. Caring is what nursing is about.

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Specializes in Peds, Med-Surg, Disaster Nsg, Parish Nsg.
nothing wrong with having emotions, but you will learn how to put on a "game face" around patients and families. i hope you never get so hardened you do not care. caring is what nursing is about.

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If you're a new nurse and going to be doing oncology, you're going to feel emotion like that quite frequently and not only during a code or death. It's normal to feel overwhelming emotion when you are new but the key is to not to get emotional everytime something like that happens or you will burn yourself out and you will not be able to take care of your patients.

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Specializes in Jack of all trades, and still learning.

Good sign. Think how you'd feel as a person in the street? Much the same. As you gain more experience, you may learn coping strategies to help make it a little easier. As a previous person said, codes are not the only thing that get you emotionally. There is a small child with a very poor prognosis who is suffering terribly that I care for. It got to me this morning; thankfully the sister in charge saw me upset, gave me a hug, and told me I wasn't the only one feeling this way.

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