New nurse looking for advice/feedback

[Nursebritt19, BSN, RN]

I am a new nurse in a pediatric hospital on a medsurg unit that I love working in and I love my job and (most) of the people I work with. I was an extern, IP and now nurse on the same floor. I had a difficult time getting off of orientation and I’m wondering is it because of me or were my preceptors being to hard on me? I’ve been off of orientation for a couple of months now and most days I love what i do and feel relatively confident with a few mistakes here and there that are not detrimental to my patients well being. Now to the point: whenever I am assigned to work on the same side as one of my old preceptors I feel completely on edge and as if I have to do everything perfect. It’s such an uncomfortable work environment for me. One day I missed something on a monitor of a pyloric stenosis kiddo who was in the process of being discharged while I was in the room with another patient for awhile. She caught it and a cardiologist came to observe and it was taken care of the and patient was still okay’d to be discharged with follow up. She then lecture me about it hours later making and went up to a relief charge stating that it scares her I’m so oblivious sometimes. That is only one example of many, she also belittles me in front of patients families and completely destroys any confidence I have to where I think I’m a bad nurse/being unsafe and scared I’m going to get fired or even lose my dream job. I simply can’t even act myself when around her. I would be devastated if I ever lost this job.

Sorry for the long post but I was wondering if anyone could give me any feedback on if I am in the wrong or what I should do about this situation? Thank you ♥️

[klone, MSN, RN]

You should talk to this person. Pull her aside privately and let her know that while you are open to constructive feedback on your practice, you will not tolerate being belittled or criticized, and NEVER in front of patients/family. Let her know that this is inappropriate, and you don't want it to happen again. Document this conversation, perhaps even consider having it in the presence of an unbiased "mediator". Then, if it continues, document specific examples of behavior, including exact quotes whenever possible, and take it to your manager.

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

Have you approached her to discuss it with her? It is possible she is trying to be helpful but doesn't realize how demoralizing her tactics are.

Tell her you learn a lot from her, but would appreciate in the future if she could pull you aside to discuss your mistakes and to keep them between the two of you, in the name of professionalism.

There is a lot of bullying behavior in nursing. The good thing about bullies is that often all it takes to shut one down is to stand up for yourself. You would not hesitate to advocate for your patient - so use the same grit to advocate for yourself.

[Flum Mox]

With only 2 responses, I would go towards nurse sms. You are new and your old preceptor is teaching you. Taking it as another teaching moment to learn instead of worrying about how bad you look because she is pointing things out. The directive is the patient, not you or the old preceptor.

Klone is direct and sometimes being direct is better. I am better with nurse SMS’s approach.