New Nurse...How to get Along?

[RNAchot83]

Hi Gang!

So I need some advice. Fairly new nurse - working in private practice for 6+ months now...I love it! Love the patients, love the specialty, love the doctors...everything.

I have learned a lot throughout these months - how to mix chemo, working our computer system, getting around insurance companies but nursing school did not prepare me for this.

This being one nurse who has more than 5 years experience over me, that everyone says is threatened by me, and who just won't leave me alone.

I have spoken to managers, no resolve. I have spoken to her, just seems to get worse. What do I do? I am a smart little cookie and I know my stuff! But she will come to me infront of the doctors and say....Have you done this? Did you remember to do this? And I smile and say yes...and show her proof! But she constantly wants to prove me wrong and is just harrassing me! What should I do? The energy out of our day is just not worth it. When we're supposed to be focusing on the patients she is constantly trying to prove me unfit to do my job. Its kinda getting humorous but I think my biggest peeve is her going to the doctors with her so called complaints!

Thanks in advance for your advice!

[TMS1980]

My only advice is Kill Her With Kindness! She might come around, but if she doesn't she will look bad not you. :)

It sucks to have to deal with people like that!

[RNAchot83]

I tried that and unfortunately it made matters worse! Her complaint was that I talk like she is beneath me....I think she has her own issues but after being kind, whats next? Give her a taste of her own medicine?

[jessi1106, BSN, RN]

Sounds like you are doing everything "right".

You are taking care of pts, using good communication skills with this other nurse and the docs.

Sorry that you are in this situation, but from what you wrote sounds like the other nurse has "issues". You can't solve her issues.

Continue to act professionally. Personally, I would not stoop to a lower level and "give her a taste of her own medicine". Continue to do the great job you are doing!

Again, sorry that you have to deal with someone who doesn't sound interested in "teamwork", but also sounds like you have a great attitude.

All kinds of people in life....sometimes our collegeus can be as annoying as @#*!..BUT, that gives us the opportunity to practice patience, and reassess our own mind.

Good Luck to you!

[juzme]

ok, how about using humor to deal with her?! I did this one time with a nurse I knew not like me for whatever reason(I showed enthusiasm..haha she should see me now!> JUST JOKING!!! ...anyway, one night we where having a horrible shift and I just went up to her, her back was to me, put my arm around her shoulders and said something like, "ok Sandy(fake name;-) I know you don't like me, but I like you and I think we could work really well together, so let's $^$^& rock this shift and get it done together! or something like that..well after that, no more problems...it was like, nothing ever was between use:-) anyway i really at times try to make it a point to inject some humor into anything humor is appropriate for and...I believe that is most things...so, good luck and please keep us updated..

[elljayo]

it sounds to me like she knows she gets to you. you can kill her with kindness, as suggested, maybe even though it hasn't worked immediately it will over time. i'm learning to use techniques that never occur to me (my nature is to be responsive and helpful):

- stare silently in response. see if she repeats the question. do not smile. don't be hostile - just don't smile. maintain eye contact.

- provide terse, minimal responses (yes/no) and let silence follow.

- if she's using anything but a polite tone, let her know you would appreciate her speaking to you respectfully if she expects you to respond.

- ask her to repeat each question several times, asking nicely as if you didn't quite hear her correctly.