New Nurse: developed anxiety after working 2 shifts...HELP!

Nurses LPN/LVN

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VERY LONG STORY:

I graduated from nursing school back in December 2012. I didn't take my NCLEX until August 2014 (passed on first try). I had been diagnosed with a mental disorder during nursing school that required me to fill out a declaratory order with the Texas Board of Nursing. That took some time and after it was finally settled and I received permission to sit for my boards I was 3 months away from my due date (found out I was expecting baby #3 2 weeks before graduation). I decided to put nursing on hold and focus on my family and preparing for the arrival of my little one. In the time that has passed I feel that I have lost a lot of knowledge. I was elated that I passed my NCLEX after being out of school for about a year and a half with minimal studying. September 2014 I found out that I had been misdiagnosed and had to submit a petition to the board to have the stipulations removed from my license. Finally in Jan. 2015 I appeared before the board and was cleared. I now had a clear license. I found a job 2 months later at a long term care facility. Training went well. It wasn't until I worked my first shift alone that I was hit hard with anxiety. I seriously thought I was going to have a panic attack right then and there. I was able to calm myself, take a deep breath, and get to work. I completed my 2 day assignment and haven't worked since. I have never been so scared and felt so incompetent in my life. I like to do things right and doing them well and just knowing that I don't know half of what the other nurses know just completely crushed me. Here I am months later trying to muster up the courage to give working another shot. Any advice? In nursing school I was always highly recommended by patients for being caring and going above and beyond...unfortunately I feel there are too many gaps in my knowledge for me to feel confident to practice nursing.

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It sounds like you really need to get with your doctor and get your anxiety sorted out before trying to go back to work. It is normal to feel anxiety when being on your own in a new job, but to be so crippled by it that you can't face going back is another thing entirely.

A refresher course may help with your confidence, but there are bigger issues than lack of confidence here, IMO. So sorry you are going through this.

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Thank you for your advice. This is really out of character for me. I have never really experienced anything like that before. I have never been so gripped by fear that I cower away from something new. The psychiatrist I was seeing said that it was an adjustment disorder and should resolve within 6 months, but I can't just wait around for me to snap out of my irrational fear of failure/incompetence. I decided to see a therapist and see if I can work through it and get to the root of this. I guess a refresher course is the way to go when I'm ready to get back in the game. Thanks again.

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Specializes in Postpartum, Med Surg, Home Health.

I can totally understand how you were crippled by fear on your first or second shift..you have been out of nursing school for several years and not practicing, it's extremely hard to just go and work as a nurse after several years break from school. Heck it's hard even for a seasoned nurse to go back to work after taking several years off! I think you should take a refresher course and also hit your books at home to refresh your memory. Even after that you will not feel competent believe me, however with more practice and time it will get better. Good luck (hugs)

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I had this before, you are not alone at all! Don't feel so discouraged. I know it is hard to not feel this way given what you had gone through. If anything, pat yourself on the back for making it this far, that is truly a lot of obstacles that you just encountered. As far as anxiety, I really can relate... and as the nurse above have suggested, go to the docs and get it sort out before you go back to working fulltime. Working does take a lot out of us... as nurses, we have to be mentally and physically strong to withstand all stressors coming our way. Something I am still working out, believe it or not. I am currently in a similar situation as you right now. I am trying to sort out my depression and anxiety before running back to working again. I am taking July off from work because I was stressing out so much from working the weekends(I am also in school for the BSN degree). But I guess my problem is that the place I work at(SNF) overwork their nurses to the core... therefore, I feel extremely burnt out and exhausted every weekend. I cannot imagine the nurses at my place works 5 days a week, every week in that type of environment---low quality care and nurses getting burnt out chasing around patients and having to give meds to 35 and then trying to declog those gtubes every single day. Hence why I took a break from it to truly decide what I want to do. Ppl tell me continue with the RN program, it will def get better. I am continuing my program... but it's to a point where I am getting sick of dealing with patients...and being overworked. We'll see after this month is over... I hope I will get well-rested. As of right now, I am actually looking into doing something I truly enjoy and that it would truly make me happy... Hang in there. Keep on posting your thoughts, obstacles, and stories. I think most of us are going through the same thing so we'll be able to share any ideas, encounters, or tips to help one another through tough times.

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Finally back at it again! It took about four months to fully shake it off. Doc diagnosed me with an adjustment disorder. I dealt with it without the use of meds and I am so glad that I am finally back to my normal self. This time around I feel determined to go forward and not cower away from nursing. I think the anxiety thing really made me stronger and I realized that I just need to do it. Face my fear and do it afraid if I have to. I am so lucky to work for a great company with lots and lots of support for "new" nurses like myself. They are not spoon feeding me. They are pushing me to be better while still being close by if I need any help.

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