New Nurse Blues

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Specializes in ICU.

Hi all,

I am just starting my nursing career and wanted to ask for advice and encouragement from whoever had similar experience.

I remember from last semester in NS when we learned about the stages new nurses go through. At first we are excited about passing nclex and getting a job. So excited to start, new people, new place, new opportunities. Sooo proud to answer questions " what do you do for living?"...finally I've made it!

But then the reality sets in. The responsibility is huge, the knowledge from NS doesn't seem to match with the reality. Every step you take, every turn you make there is something you don't know. This is very scary.

I was hired into a critical care setting with an internship consisting of 3-4 months of classes and about 5 months of preceptorship. I have learned a lot since I started about 5 moths ago. But I still see how much more I don't know. As much as I've experienced in my clinical setting, I have still not encountered many different possible pt scenarios.

I had a conference with all the managers and preceptors and was told things I need to work on. Prioritization, confidence in what I know, getting the big picture. I have to say that even though I knew I have a lot more to learn, the last couple of weeks I felt good about my progress and they just busted my bubble. I understand that evaluations have to be made, not only for my sake but of course for the safety of the patients. I just couldn't help the reaction I had to hearing from them that I'm not doing great but ok.

I was super distraught after the meeting. I could barely hold tears for the rest of the day at work. I didn't want to cry and be THAT person. I felt humiliated and thought that people are talking about me.

My preceptorship was extended. Not sure yet for how long but the only thing I can do is to do my best and see what's the end result will be.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Emergency, CEN.

You wanted some support so here it is:

HUGS! You're ok! Just look at how far you've made it already! First year is nursing is so wild that there are books, support groups, and even its entire own section here on AN! It's so rough that you are probably having dreams (mostly bad) about work and waking up in night terrors.

It'll calm down. Hang in there, and don't make any drastic work changes (like quitting for a different job). It'll just set your experience back a level and you'll have to start all over again.

:D :nurse:

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You've got to change your perspective*. You've got people paying attention and not throwing you out there as an inexperienced nurse with more responsibility than you can handle.

Seize these opportunities to become excellent without an emotional attitude that you should already be doing great and receiving kudos.

I don't know what "extra curricular" learning that you're doing, but I would live and breathe all things ICU for the next 6 mos. This is not a time for balance, other than sleep, nutrition and basic exercise. If you're not getting live experiences then read about them. The longer you're getting hands on experience the more relevant and useful the educational resources will be.

*not that I don't understand, I've certainly been there.

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Specializes in ICU.

Thank you so much for your encouraging replies! I've been told by some ppl before that I tend to be to hard on myself. In everything I do I strive for a perfect outcome and when I don't get it I take it as a failure. And I do not want to fail in my nursing career! I've worked way to hard for it!

Nursing is my second career and I think because how different and demanding it is I'm having a really hard time with the fact that I don't know everything and I'm not always doing best...

It's really good to know that others share this experience and even better to know that people do and can overcome this!

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