New graduate, new job....lost and lots of tears!

[newlpn10]

I am a recent LPN graduate and have been a stay at home mom for over a decade. I've started at a LTC facility and they have me working days, nights and graveyards, doing a little bit of orientation on each. I've only been there less than two weeks and the upcoming shifts they have me doing the floor on my own. I am a little hesitant about it all, as I feel so inadequate at the moment. I will be told how to do the paperwork one time and then a million other things and by the time I have to do that paperwork again, I've already forgotten all the steps. It's so frustrating and I've never felt so overwhelmed and scatter brained in my whole life. It's really awkward trying to fit in with the nurses that have been there a while and they don't try to go out of their way to make you feel welcomed. If only one is working, they seem nice to you, but when they work with a friend, they congregate together and never speak a word to me. I feel so all alone and lost. I feel like I didn't learn anything in school, and just don't know how to get past this stage. Some of the meds are given by med techs and others I have to give, but I am still so slow at it, that I don't have time to be with the patient at all. If I am passing meds, I can't be checking on them and I am so afraid something will happen in that in between time. I have two wings all to myself and I can't keep up with it all. There is a form for every little thing, so even if I knew a person needed special care, I don't know the first step about filling out the paperwork to make it happen. When I ask, they act like I am just plain stupid. I am not saying they are mean and hateful, because they are not, they've just been there so long that they do these things effortlessly and I look like a complete idiot. I feel like they are all making fun of me behind my back and it just sucks. I so want to run away, but I am trying to stick with it, get through this hard part, as I don't want to be a quitter. I just want to do a good job and do it right and feel good about being a nurse, instead of crying my eyes out after every shift. Ugh. Does it really get better?

[Little Panda RN, ASN, RN]

It does get better, it just takes time. Your post pulled at my heart strings and I am sending some cyber hugs your way. Hang in there, the more expierenced you become, you will feel more comftorable.

[Orange Tree]

It's pretty normal to be slow and clumsy and locked out of cliques when you're new. You will become more efficient! And chances are that people will eventually accept you, as well. Just hang in there.....and try to cry at home so that you don't break down at work.

[ctRN2010]

newlpn10,

I know exactly how you feel, I recently started as a new RN in LTC. I have "trained" for two weeks and will be charging this weekend:/ I do not feel ready, I had no idea how stressful a nursing home is! I am very slow with all my med passes, but I have noticed that every day has become a little bit easier. One thing that I have learned is you have to ask lots of questions! you will feel annoying, but someone told me, you have worked hard for your license and you dont want to have it taken away. That really changed my perspective, so if ever I am unsure of anything I ask. I am confident things will get better:) hope this helps!