New can, feeling lost and depressed in new job..... Help!!!

[D.R.]

I have worked at a nursing home/rehab center for nearly two months now, and sometimes I love it and sometimes it's too much for me! It breaks my heart some days, it makes me feel like the most vile, disgusting person in the world and I hate it. The job itself I love, but the people drain my very soul.

I am fairly strong and can handle alot of things hy myself and like to consider myself emotionally stable but in my job I was thrown onto the hardest hall on the facility (it is the "crazy hall") because it isn't physically taxing but emotionally exhausting. We have one gal who will get disoriented and does whatever she can to make sure you are in her room every ten minutes and has officially accused people of rape, which apparently for her is an usual accurance as she lies there and refuses to eat or drink or cares, and all because she just wants attention. She will starve herself because she wants attention!!

I've been reading on the site, and apparently it isn't normal to work a hall by yourself? Is that true? I take care of 20 people alone every night, sometimes we will have a float going between two halls, and at first I was fine with it ad long as they weren't going to fire me over not getting my charting done. At first I could emotionally handle all of the residents, I was fine with all of them but as it's progressed the stress of working alone is beginning to I think kill me. It's making me genuinely depressed and I don't know what to do....

The nurses are always behind, which I understand, but then the residents blame ME for them being late and it is fight after fight.... There is one lady (I think she is the one that is making me feel emotionally destroyed) who can do everything herself but she refuses, she is literally deteriorating and we will probably have to start ez standing her, which she hates, and it is going to just be one more fight. Every night I tell her I can't go through her closet because I don't have time, every night I tell her the nurse can't give her pain meds when she is on the toilet, every night I tell her we have to get her in bed before I clean up her room.... She will be standing there shaking and asking me to leave her to organize her magazines (which means going through each of them and telling her what they are about) And she gets mad every single time I say no or say I don't have time. She has a grabber she claims to use, but won't. She wants you to drop what you are doing and do what she wants you to do, to bend over backwards as you are trying to support her walking to lower her bed or move her trash can. I try and explain that we have to do one thing at a time and she started being horrible about it, she tells me I don't care about her and when I try and explain that I don't have the time or that if she doesn't do it herself she is going to lose her motion, she honestly does not care. She says Shea fine but constantly complains about how she's losing the ability to do things. She's horrible, and I hate HATE working with her, but there isn't anyone else to help me out with her. She breaks my heart every day, and leaves me feeling shaky and disgusting like I'm the worst person to ever live.

How do I deal with people like this? What do I DO to save my sanity? Is this just assisted care or would this be better at the hospitals here in town? I'm tired of hurting so much and being so frustrated over this one person.

[Nurse Beth, MSN]

It's really hard to deal with manipulative people and being manipulated is an awful experience because the other person has control- but only when you let them.

Setting limits and sticking to them is important. "I will do that later as I have time" rather than explaining. Explaining gives her points to argue and engages you both in argument. Be prepared for push back and testing when you set limits and stick to your boundaries.

Pick one thing at a time when you practice setting boundaries. You will be successful at that one thing, and begin to feel better when you are more in control. Best wishes

[Missingyou, CNA]

You also have to learn to NOT take anything personal in this job! Especially when it comes to the patients you are caring for.

Remind yourself constantly that they are in a care facility for a reason...and you are there to do your very best.

When a patient is yelling at you or degrading you, simply walk away (if at all possible) if it's not possible, just ignore the behavior and continue to do what needs to be done and leave asap.

Think of it this way: these residents have lost so much control over their lives and their bodies. They are clinging to every possible thing they can control. You are the closest at the moment, you will be at the receiving end of their frustration.

Many of the resident's will probably have other mental health issues/dementia etc. You can't fix it, you can't change it and getting frustrated won't help. It is what it is and that's all.

The one lady you mention who insists you help her go through her magazines... sounds like there is a mental health/dementia issue going on there. I agree with "Nurse Beth". You have to set limits because of your time crunch. You just have to say "IF I have time later, I'll help you". Don't discuss it, don't try to reason with her...that is the answer and that's the way it has to be, period.

It's her dementia/illness, she really can't help it. Sometimes it seems like she can but, she really can't....that's why she's in that facility.