need ideas for cancer patients

[trmr]

Hi everyone, I mentioned before I have the aunt with recently diagnosed colon cancer and liver cancer. She has been admitted to a skilled facility to get therapy and hopefully gain strength before starting chemo on the 15th. She has been doing fairly ok ( sort of ) for her diagnosis and the recent colon resection she went through. Before all this ( just 4 weeks ago ) she was independent and taking care of her adult handicap daughter, shopping, cooking, cleaning, driving, etc. Now she is sooo very weak and so fraile. I think that she is depressed now too, who wouldn't be. I am arranging for her to talk with a social worker in the facility to maybe help out.

I feel so terrible for her and I wish I could do more,( or heal her ). My question to all you oncology nurses out there, or anyone with ideas, what can I do for her to help her through this? I want to do something to brighten her day, her week, her month, her year if she has that long. This is so hard for me too because I remember the aunt Barbie that was always happy and smiling, always canning vegetables, and doing things for others non stop, always with a smile. Now its gone, I want to bring it back. I can't imagine how she must feel to have the diagnosis she has, and to know its a reality. I don't want her to suffer, I know she is scared.

Please Please help. Thanks.

[NurseCherlove]

My very simple advice is this...make sure she has an intense, from the belly, episode(s) of laughter each and every day. Did you know there are actually groups whose sole purpose is laughter therapy? Also, my mom told me (don't know how much validity this holds) that she once read of a man who literally laughed himself out of cancer.

Ask yourself...what feels better than good, hearty laughter? Only a few things come close - excellent food, good sex, and a good foot rub would be my top candidates.

I hope she gets to feeling better soon!

[ICRN2008, BSN, RN]

Our oncology kids and their parents told us that the best thing that we could do for them was to treat them normally. She might not like it if you always bring up her illness in conversation, ask her how she's feeling, etc. However, do let her know that you're always available to talk.

What activities does she enjoy that she could continue to do? Maybe you could do some canning together with her teaching you the steps while she supervises from a chair? It might make her happy to pass along her knowledge about some of the things that you do not know how do to but are important to your family..

I wish her luck with chemo and rehab.

[husker_rn, RN]

Has she been screened for depression ? The reason I'm asking is that I have been dealing with somewhat the same situation here at home. Spouse had colon cancer with LARGE mets to the liver. Had chemo then surgery to colon and RFA to liver. Restarted chemo after PET scan done. However....things do look good for him. But...he has had days when all he can think about is "am I gonna make it". Has she talked with cancer survivors ? Talked about her own fears ? Cancer is no longer a death sentence and maybe she needs to hear from someone who has been in her shoes. It helped my husband to hear from someone who had a similar experience. Good luck. I'll be praying for you both.

[BinkieRN, BSN, RN]

My neighbor recently had surgery for CA and I know that he was started on an antidepressant when he was diagnosed. Your Aunt is a far worse situation having to care for a handicapped daughter. That just breaks my heart. I'm glad she has a caring neice.