Need encouragement, very anxious

[Bluekal]

Hello everyone,

I'm writing this just to vent my frustration. When I got my RN I was so happy, finally all the hard work had paid off and I was ready to start my new career. I got a job as a new grad at a tele floor and was exited about it because I ultimately want to become a nurse anesthetist and this is a great stepping stone for ICU. How my views have changed...

It seems that I'm always stressed out at work. The patients are so sick now that it seems I'm always doing things just to catch up with meds, charting, procedures, etc. I can't even put it into words how busy the floor is and everything that needs to be done. In my unit, I always have to be looking at what is going on with the patient, the tele monitor, vitals, subtle signs of complications. In a way, all that is fine with me because I'm a naturally energetic person, and I love challenge, my problem comes after I leave the hospital.

I'm always afraid I missed something or made a mistake that will either end up in harm to the patient or me loosing my job. I get home and sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night "did I do this?" "I should've done that instead" "what if I hanged the wrong antibiotic or gave the wrong med?" Nightmare scenarios keep running through my mind and I just get so stressed that I can't sleep sometimes.

The worst part of my day is driving to work. I don't look forward to driving to work because my heart is racing and I'm having anxiety thinking... "Is this the day that I get pulled into the manager's office so they can tell me what I did wrong and someone got hurt".

I really love nursing and I try to do the best that I can, but it's so busy that I'm just chasing meds, doctors orders, and documentation. On really busy days everything is a blur when I leave and that is when the anxiety kicks in... "I know I missed something?".

I was so exited about my first job and now 3 months later I do not look forward to going to work because of how I feel before, during and after. Am I just over stressing myself? is this how every new grad feels? I even thought about changing careers because of the amount of emotional stress I put myself under.

Thank you for listening,

[NoviceRN10]

I don't work telemetry/cardiac but I do get pulled there occasionally and I have to say that it's a hard unit to work on. At my hospital it has the worst turnover for staff. I can feel your stress just reading this because I feel that way when I am working in that area. It is normal to wake up and think you've forgotten to do something, chart something, or pass something along to the oncoming nurses in report. That happens to me all the time. It isn't cool to be stressed before the start of every shift, that sucks . I think if you work telemetry you can work anywhwere. Are you elgible to change units within a few months?

[Bluekal]

Nope, I can't transfer until a year from hire date. I don't think anyone would take me either because of my lack of experience. I was lucky to lad this job because everywhere I applied the wanted at least a year acute care experience.

Thank you for your words of encouragement.

[eyeball]

I agree with the previous poster....you are not crazy for feeling how you feel! I too am a recent grad and started on a tele unit as first job in the fall. It has been very difficult and very stressful in ways that would take too long to enumerate. It's a comfort to hear from the previous poster that she/he can feel the increased stress when she/he floats to tele. Our floor too has an incredibly high turnover rate which is not surprising. Sounds like the norm for these floors? Our floor is very busy, demanding, chaotic, and I am still having to compensate for the very poor orientation I was given. I have been chronically depressed and unable to enjoy my work or my life out of work since I began. The one piece of advice that has continued to work for me is to just keep showing up, if only to grind out that first year and then move on.

[rnvancouver]

I am a new grad on a cardiac stepdown unit and have many days when I feel the same. I cried on my way home today! I have also woken up panicking imagining myself programming a pump wrong or hanging the wrong med ect. (none of which I have done), I have many dreams where I am at work running around, which is the worst! I almost always feel run off my feet and frequently miss dinner break. What has helped me is making checklists for what I need to do that day and also general checklists for night duties/discharging/admitting ect. I think it is normal to miss things for at least the first 6 months as long as what you are missing is not a safety issue. Everyone is human. I try to to tell myself that I did my best and that there is no point thinking about it when you leave (although I often do). I think this is how many new grads get burnt out. I also try to confide in nurses who have been on the unit for a few years to hear about their experience as a new grad. I am not sure what your personality is like but I am a bit of a worrier and like to be very organized so when I feel like this is somewhat out of my control it does make me anxious. Most of the things I miss, I didn't even know I was supposed to do, so I try to tell myself this is just part of the learning experience. I also always tell nurses who I report off to, to tell me if I miss something so I can learn from my mistakes. 3 months on a tele unit is not enough to get into the flow of things. Try to hang in there and don't be too hard on yourself. You aren't the only one who feels this way!

[surferbettycrocker]

kudos to all the poster on here who are sticking it out and to the poster who said just keep showing up to grind it out for a year. its funny if you look to where most the new grad hiring is doing its on tele or cardiac stepdown floors!

crazy isnt it that all that worrying and crying IS TOTALLY NORMAL for a new grad (even old grad like me) especially on a cardiac unit.

cardiac nursing is HARD WORK but if you keep at it, you find yourself STILL WORRYING STILL ANXIOUS it keeps you on your toes, but also wears you out hence high turnover, you will find yourself able to think through situations (chest pain, vtach, starting/titrating gtts) that would scare the beejeezus out of most nurses except for actual ICU nurses.

the whole thing is not normal! feeling this way and it may even get worse the more you learn the more anxious you may get. and it seems counterintuitive. more time on unit yet i became more worried! but it happens then it plateaus and you may feel alitte more confident but still anxious!

nature of the beast. anxiety and cardiac nursing i swear.

come here to vent, find nurse friends to vent,, keep showing up, and if it all gets too much you have a right to choose another specialty or career remember that.

for now worry and anxiety show me that you care and must have some well tuned critical thinking skills.

[pruili01]

I'm graduating in May and just accepted a job offer to a cardiac stepdown unit. This makes me nervous! The nurse manager gave me my choice of shifts and I specifically chose nights because I think it might be slightly less crazy than days or evenings.

[ErnestineB2009]

The first nursing job you take will probably be the scariest. Have confidence and always ask questions.