Need advice!!

hollyster · Jun 26, 2005

I am a pretty new ER nurse, and well we had a 10 month old we had to fly out to the childrens hospital the other day and to keep this short, I spent alot of time with the mother before we flew the baby out, and well I cried with her a little not alot or anything and I did not think this was inappropriate but soem of my coworkers did. But my charge nurse said that the day that I dont get emotional when in a situation like that that is the day to get a new job. So waht do you all think do I need to turn to stone and just cry on the drive home or is it OK to cry with a family member from time to time??? Jen

Yes, it is okay to cry. I agree with your charge nurse, I too would quit nursing if I did not cry at times. We are human and it would be unreasonable to expect us not to be moved to tears at times. Ignore the coworkers that tell you otherwise.

Good luck to you.

Holly

mommatrauma, RN · Jun 26, 2005

Honey, i've been a nurse for 10 years...I have a soft spot for sick kids...ESPECIALLY when they are close in age or look anything like my own...I remember a 14 month old sids death i had 2 years ago...the child was very close in age to my son, and had the same white skin and red hair as my son...tears?? You have no idea...I had to leave the room when the ME came to take the baby's body..to this day, I still carry around a card with the childs footprint on it as a constant reminder how precious life is....that being said, there is nothing wrong with being sensitive...our line of work is tough...you can't be a rock all the time...sometimes i think it gives the family a little comfort to know that their situation has touched us enough to know it moved us...WE are human, and have emotion...now if you are in the middle of patient care and you are blubbering...its a different story...just know your limitations...excuse yourself from the room and collect yourself and come back in when you can function...If its a few tears shed over a sad story...i don't see the harm...

RNAnalyst · Jun 26, 2005

You can call me a crusty ol' ED nurse (and a guy to boot) and I get caught up from time to time with emotional issues. I have to side with your charge, if the day comes that you DON'T get emotionally involved with your patients, it's time to move on.

Caring is the name of the game!

Dixielee, BSN, RN · Jun 26, 2005

I have to agree with the above posters. I have been doing this 32 years and I still get tearful at times. Somethings are just not fair and people should not have endure such pain and suffering. But life is not fair, and we don't have control over a lot of things. Getting emotional, but not incapacited is certainly OK in my book.

When my grandmother died, the family was called saying she had "taken a turn for the worse"...as I entered the floor waiting area, a nurse who I did not even know (I worked ER in that hospital), walked toward me and gave me a long secure hug, and never said a word while I cried on her shoulder for what seemed like a long time. That was the single most important thing I remember about that day, and it brings tears to my eyes even as I type now, 20 years later. I wish I knew who she was now so I could thank her. You owe it to your patients and their families to be a caring, loving member of the team. Never apologize for that, never. If you lose that, you might as well go work on a computer.

NursePamela · Jun 26, 2005

I cried just because a sick kid came in who shared my children name. Never be afraid to cry. Now of course if you are blubbering everyday that is another story.