2nd day of clinicals & I feel like an idiot...help me gain some confidence!

[pecanpies]

So, I'm that stereotypical student who does great in class & on tests and papers, but who is struggling in clinical. I'm in an accelerated program and we just started our clinicals - yesterday was my second day in the hospital. I had to give a pneumonia vax IM. The PT's daughter had been in the room all day, watching me closely & taking notes about everything I said & did. It's great the PT had an advocate, and we had a good rapport - but it made me very nervous.

Anyways, here's what happened. I went to give the IM injection (in the deltoid) - and the needle didn't go in. It just bounced off the skin. I'm sure my hand was shaking and I just didn't use enough force. I was stunned & just kind of stood & stared for a moment. My instructor was also watching me. He went to go swap out the needle and I was so flustered I asked him to please give it - I didn't want to hurt the PT.

I feel like a complete failure and an IDIOT! I mean, really - who does this? Who can't give a simple IM injection? My confidence is shot. I want to dust myself off & try again, but there's a tiny part of me that's wondering, if I can't do something this simple, am I really cut out for nursing?

Please tell me what you think...be honest with me. Is this a sign that I can't hack it? If not, how do I get over this and get some confidence back so this doesn't happen again?

[ohbejoyful]

Wow I am so grateful for this blog. I am in my 8th week of nursing school and have been doing great in clinical thanks to my very helpful experience as a nursing assistant. I have had a lot of confidence and felt great about myself up until today.

I have always been a little scared about doing injections because I have no experience with them and they just freak me out a little bit, I don't want to hurt anyone or do the wrong thing. We practiced a little bit on the fake skin pad, but I still did not feel confident from this practice.

Today I had my first shot ever in my life, it was SubQ Lovenox. Well I definitely hesitated a bit, I tried the "dart technique" and the needle bounced right out, I tried it again, same thing. My instructor had kind of a dramatic response "oh my god no" grabbing it out of my hand and doing it herself. (Mind you my patient was borderline unconscious and severe dementia.) My instructor was not at all understanding, calming, or trying to show me better how to do it. She told me I was hurting my patient. She asked me why I was having trouble. I didn't know what to say. When I asked her if she had seen anyone ever do this, she said no, her eyebrows raised. She told me I was probably nervous and that I would try again next week. This was a terrible experience for me, I burst into tears (this also made me feel stupid) and had calm myself down in the corner and brush it off and continue on with my assessments. I felt like a total idiot. I felt scared to try again, like if I could not do something simple like this I would not be able to make it as a nurse.

I am so so grateful to find this post (as well as others) to show me that I am not alone, this has apparently happened to quite a few students and even graduates, and I don't feel so bad about myself. I am a little bit resentful about how my instructor handled things, but I could use a little toughening up and appreciate her time and knowledge regardless.

Also, the next time she has a student do this maybe she will now have the experience of how to handle this, and be able to tell the student I have seen this before. Everyone is a first, it just happened to be me. I understand it is not her job to make me feel better but to protect the patients and make sure I know what I am doing.

I plan on buying some raw chicken or other raw meat as recommended and practicing over and over this next week. It makes sense to me that motor-skill type practice is important, not just the mental understanding of what you are supposed to do. I do not think the fake skin pads are helpful, so I will try other things! I will not give up, just strive to be my best. Thank you all so much for your experiences. :)