My uncle going to hospice

[blackIrish]

because of my endless prodding.

My 50 y.o. uncle. Jolly, very charismatic, handsome, huge heart, always been so good to me and our whole family. Addict.

Has abused alcohol, drugs my whole life. A very functional addict.

Was looking VERY ill when I saw him in August. I knew something was very wrong. (I live across the country from my family)

Diagnosed with end stage cirrhosis, pancreatitis, Hep C, large mass, and now pancreatic CA. His physicians have told him that there is nothing left to do. He can go back to drinking for his last days.

We have a pretty tight family. Everyone is devastated. Including him.

I talked to my mom and she is pushing for hospice with the MD's and the rest of the family. I think everything should be set within the next week or so. Thank goodness.

He has lost 62 pounds very rapidly. (2 months) He's about 6 feet and now weighs 140. I just saw a pic of him and it broke my heart. It won't be long now. He has the 'look'

I know every patient and family's needs are different, but what can we expect for his hospice care/last days? How can we help?

I am a critical care nurse. It's another world when it is your family.

[leslie :-D]

(((bbuff)))...

your uncle needs time to accept his terminality.

very good chance he will choose to die, abusing drugs and if able to keep it down, his drinking.

no matter what the addiction is, the abuser has a gen'l idea as to why they're using/drinking and the pain they're trying to avoid.

once hospice gets him physically comfortable, i think it's important for him to know that no matter how he perceives his life and potential failures, that he was very much loved and valued...

especially at the end of life, people really want to know how they made a difference and to be recognized.

truly, just treat him with unconditional love and acceptance, and much of it will fall into place.

wishing you all the very best.

leslie