So I'm in my fourth block of nursing school and am about to graduate in December which is so exciting! Even though it was stressful, I didn't really feel like a I struggled at all in the previous blocks. I got good grades and I felt that I was gaining more experience in clinical. However, my instructor for this block has been pushing me over the edge. I have cried several times because she makes me feel so inadequate. Previous students that graduated had told me that she was horrible and definitely not a nice person so beware. At first I thought she wasn't so bad but now I realize why everyone disliked her. The majority of the class has verbalized that they're absolutely terrified of her so I know it's not just me. Anyway, I have this instructor for class and clinicals so I can't get away from her. One day she'll act decent and then another day she'll have a death glare on the whole day. She chewed one student out because she submitted an assignment in the wrong format.
I'm an introvert so I'm quiet and reserved. However, I am extremely driven and take control of every aspect of my life. Even though the medical field is a completely new territory for me, I try to give clinical my all to progress in my knowledge. The instructor explained beforehand that she doesn't want students "holding the nurses hand" and she wants us to take the initiative. I'll admit that I get extremely nervous in clinical (because of the instructor) so this can be scary at times. But I've been making a huge effort to do just this. I go do my own assessments, do blood sugars, check on the patients, tell the nurse it's time to get the meds out (we can't log into the pyxis). Even though I feel like I'm pulling my hair out trying to do all the right things it's still not enough for her. Every week we have to write a little paragraph on our clinical experience and every single comment she writes the same thing. "I am very concerned about your lack of initiative and you need to be more assertive". I feel sooooo frustrated with these comments because I realize that I need more confidence but I'm doing everything in my power to appear confident and push myself in clinical. I feel like these comments are just blanket statements that provide no help at all. I mean tell me exactly what i'm doing wrong and offer some advice on how to improve. I have a huge amount more to learn just like everyone else and am trying to do that. I ask a million questions because nursing is a serious career and I'm trying to show the initiative. We're five weeks into the semester and not once has she EVER said anything positive to me about my performance. I feel at a complete loss because I have no idea where she is getting the idea that i'm not showing enough initiative. To make it worse she hovers and comes to "check" on us every few hours. It just happens that a couple times when she comes up that i'm standing there conversing with the nurse about our patient.. which isn't that what we're supposed to do?? It seem like if we're sitting at the computer when she comes up that she automatically assumes that we've been doing nothing for an hour and she acts accordingly with accusatory questions. Her attitude in person is extremely demeaning and she acts as if everyone is inferior to her. I'm having a really hard time not getting discouraged. She makes me feel so stupid, inadequate, and like i'm the weak link. I know i'm not any of these things but she literally makes me feel an inch tall whenever i'm in her presence which a horrible feeling! I've tried being honest with her about things I need to work on in clinical and what I need help on.. For example, I was having trouble with a few IV's and I told her that I think part of the issue is that on some pts i'm not going deep enough because I'm afraid to "stab" the patient and cause them extreme discomfort. She just replied "Well you need to get over that! nursing has no room for timidity!" I realized what my issue was and I was trying to show I know what I need to work on but obviously being honest with her doesn't work too well. I'm considering talking to her about what exactly she feels i'm doing wrong but I'm not sure if it'll just make things worse.
Any advice from people who have ever experienced an instructor like this? I feel like she's just a very miserable person inside who wants to demean others to make herself feel better. And that I'm a great target because I'm quiet. Help!! =[
Specializes in Neurosciences, stepdown, acute rehab, LTC.
I actually disagree with people who report not to say anything. I would go with a couple other students or alone and talk to someone trusted about it. I think that approach is likely to impede your learning and even if nothing is done, you may at least get validated and help future students. You want to take initiative definitely but senior year is a time to get empowered and excited. I had a similar experience with my maternity clinical and thank goodness I don't have interest in working in that field because I learned zero. I simply talked about it with my advisor (who is also a professor) and got my validation. I was too intimidated to bring it to the instructor directly but I did mention some surrounding issues with her and discussed my troubles in clinical with her. In a later clinical for community there were tWo of us and one of the main nurses really didn't want us there. We took a similar approach aNd made sure that nurse knew that we were there to both help and learn. That one ended much better and the profs commended us for speaking up. In my school they said addressing issues with discouraging nurses and cohorts IS part of taking initiative and being a good nurse. I'm a "timid extrovert" so all this worked for me. (Well, except that I did lack initiative to learn the actual material in the maternity clinical. lack of interest+ bad instructor.)I say just do whatever to help your own learning. Yes , you come across difficult people. No, you don't need to just sit there and take it unless it's a patient. This has not been my experience in general though. Sorry for the rant and good luck.
I can see how frustrating this is for you. Unfortunately there a tons of people like this not just in nursing but in life. My best advice is to just deal with it and move on. When she says something to you or gives you advice say "thank you so much for teaching me that." In a couple months you'll graduate and never have to deal with her again but be prepared that you will experience many people like her. You will learn to let things roll off your shoulders as time goes on!
anewsns
437 Posts
I actually disagree with people who report not to say anything. I would go with a couple other students or alone and talk to someone trusted about it. I think that approach is likely to impede your learning and even if nothing is done, you may at least get validated and help future students. You want to take initiative definitely but senior year is a time to get empowered and excited. I had a similar experience with my maternity clinical and thank goodness I don't have interest in working in that field because I learned zero. I simply talked about it with my advisor (who is also a professor) and got my validation. I was too intimidated to bring it to the instructor directly but I did mention some surrounding issues with her and discussed my troubles in clinical with her. In a later clinical for community there were tWo of us and one of the main nurses really didn't want us there. We took a similar approach aNd made sure that nurse knew that we were there to both help and learn. That one ended much better and the profs commended us for speaking up. In my school they said addressing issues with discouraging nurses and cohorts IS part of taking initiative and being a good nurse. I'm a "timid extrovert" so all this worked for me. (Well, except that I did lack initiative to learn the actual material in the maternity clinical. lack of interest+ bad instructor.)I say just do whatever to help your own learning. Yes , you come across difficult people. No, you don't need to just sit there and take it unless it's a patient. This has not been my experience in general though. Sorry for the rant and good luck.