My Nursing Essay

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Please forgive the length, hopefully someone can give me some feedback on where and how I can cut back a bit. The school I hope to attend wants to know experiences since last attending school (I assume high school, 20+yrs ago!), reasons for wanting to become a nurse, special reasons for choosing this particular school and goals and aspirations for the future.

I never thought of becoming a nurse. I wish I could begin my story by telling you otherwise, but the simple fact is that nursing was not on my mind during my early years. My childhood days were not spent mending the imaginary "boo-boos" of baby dolls. I did not grow up in admiration of a relative who was a nurse. The years spent completing my secondary education did not center on achieving exceptional grades in science and math.

As I moved away from my high school years and into my role as a stay at home housewife to a long distance truck driver, I began to realize the need to do something more with my life. Medical assisting offered me what I was searching for at the time, a respectable position within an office environment that allowed me the chance to work with the public. I received my Medical Office Assistant diploma in January of 1997 and spent several years working within the field. Through medical assisting I learned that working in healthcare offers a unique experience to get to know people on a very intimate level and I very much enjoyed the opportunity to offer my empathy, compassion and caring to those willing to accept it.

It was during my medical assisting years that my Mother received her diagnosis of breast cancer. She was under the impression that with breast cancer you didn't feel pain, when she told me the skin of her breast looked "like an orange" she did not know that was an ominous sign. I didn't know either. I worked in a medical setting, yet did not have the knowledge to help her. It's something I still think of often. She began her fight strong and confident, but the chemotherapy and the disease beat her down and broke her spirit. I spent the night of October 13, 1999 in a dark, quiet room on the sixth floor of the former XXXXX Hospital holding my Mom's hand as she spent her last night on Earth, she was 47 years old. It was the first time I had ever witnessed someone in the process of dying, and while I was utterly heartbroken, I somehow knew that what I was witnessing was something very powerful and very special, a privilege.

Several more years passed and after a short period of self employment outside of the medical field, I found myself once again drawn to working with the public in a caregiver role. I began as a private home health aide for an elderly woman who had suffered a stroke. On my seventh morning of work, her husband, who was suffering from lung cancer, took his own life. As I searched and felt for any signs of life and relayed my assessment of the situation to the 911 dispatcher, I looked at this elderly gentleman and felt the most overwhelming sense of sympathy for him. I was scared, but rather than wanting to run away, I wanted to scoop this man up into my arms and hold him. The experience was surreal and one of those moments that cannot be forgotten.

The pieces didn't come together for me until a few months after the above tragedy. I was doing online research on Lou Gehrig's Disease after having attended a family picnic where I was saddened and shocked by the physical transformation of a distant cousin who was battling the disease. As I was searching I found a Youtube video of a hospice nurse singing a hymn to a woman who was in the process of dying from the very same disease. The image of that nurse comforting that dying patient was profound. I knew at that very moment, with all my heart, that nursing was indeed what I was put here to do. I could "feel" it inside of me, and my past experiences with the very sick and dying flashed through my mind and I realized it had actually been there right in front of me all along.

I began searching everything I could find in regards to nursing as a profession. I've read articles about the psychosocial aspects of nursing, the holistic approach, the critical thinking skills needed. Along the way I've discovered an interest in the disease process I never realized existed, and I am excited about entering a profession where a caring, compassionate heart and medical knowledge and continual education can seamlessly blend into an intrinsically rewarding career.

My path to nursing has been long and winding with many pit stops and wrong turns along the way, but now that I'm headed in the right direction I feel as though there will be no slowing down for me any time too soon. I recently accepted a position with XXXXXX as a telemetry technician so that I may learn the valuable skill of cardiac rhythm interpretation, as well as become comfortable working within the hospital environment. While I plan to keep my mind open to all areas of nursing, I know my heart belongs in oncology and hospice and I hope to continue on with my education, obtaining not only a Bachelor's of Science in Nursing, but my Master's of Science in Nursing as well so that I may reach my ultimate goal of becoming an oncology certified nurse navigator.

I feel it only natural for XXXXXX School of Nursing to be my number one choice of nursing schools. Ever since my childhood I can remember the school being held in the highest regards by our community for it's long running educational program as well as it's strong emphasis on the clinical training of it's students. The thought of attending an institution that has produced quality graduates since 1895 gives me great pride.

The classes I am currently completing at XXXXXX Community College are to satisfy the first year requirements of the XXXXXX School of Nursing program. I will have all pre-requisite classes completed by the Summer of 2013 and would consider it to be an honor to be offered a seat for the second year curriculum scheduled to begin in the Fall of 2013.

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Schuylkill Health School Of Nursing? Have you been accepted?

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First I want to tell you that I really enjoyed reading your essay. Substantively, I think your essay is great. It is responsive to the questions posed. It grabbed my attention immediately and I wanted to continue reading. My first question is why you need to shorten it. Did the school set a page or word limit? It looks to be about two pages which I do not think is too long. However, if there are limits, then certainly you need to follow them. There are some minor critiques I have regarding sentence structure. Sometimes, you combine two sentences into one. I listed the ones that jumped out at me below with my comments in ().

She was under the impression that with breast cancer you didn't feel pain, when she told me the skin of her breast looked "like an orange" she did not know that was an ominous sign. I didn't know either. (You should insert a period after the word "pain" and begin a new sentence. Insert a comma after "orange".)

I spent the night of October 13, 1999 in a dark, quiet room on the sixth floor of the former XXXXX Hospital holding my Mom's hand as she spent her last night on Earth, she was 47 years old. (Insert period after Earth and start new sentence "She was 47 years old") As an aside, please accept my sympathies on the loss of your Mom and at such a young age. My Mom also battled breast cancer and we were so fortunate that she won her battle and is still with us.

I've read articles about the psychosocial aspects of nursing, the holistic approach, the critical thinking skills needed. (Remove comma after "approach" and insert the word "and" ).

Along the way I've discovered an interest in the disease process I never realized existed, and I am excited about entering a profession where a caring, compassionate heart and medical knowledge and continual education can seamlessly blend into an intrinsically rewarding career. (This is very wordy. I would break it down -i.e. "Along the way, I've discovered an interest in the disease process that I never realized existed. I am excited about entering a profession where a caring, compassionate heart, medical knowledge and continued education can seamlessly blend into a rewarding career."

Good luck!

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I think that your first paragraph is okay to leave out. I would focus on your experiences and how they tie into the reasons that you want to become a nurse. I wouldn't address the reasons that don't/didn't apply to you. You can probably sum up the first paragraph in a sentence and move into telling about your experiences.

Good luck to you!

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Ok - so I am clearly not observant. I just noted the date on the original post! I am curious if OP is still around and if you were accepted!

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I think your essay is great! I am applying for fall 2013 entrance at two schools in my area, one which requires an essay. My essay is written in a format similar to yours regarding not knowing I wanted to be a nurse until later in life. Your essay was very enjoyable to read. Best of luck!!

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