My NCLEX-RN Journey

[diosesgracia]

Ever since I entered Nursing school, it has really been my dream to become an RN; not just any RN though, but a USRN.

I've always been mesmerized during my junior years seeing our senior colleagues and RNs wearing their white uniforms and thought one day... I'm gonna wear that same white uniform and become the Registered Nurse I've always wanted to be. What thrilled me the most as a young student reaching for her dreams during those humbling years was the fact that you can add those 2 letters to the end of your name as you pass the 'dreaded' local board exam. It may have been a silly dream but as a Student Nurse, it kept me going.

I received my Bachelor of Science in Nursing degree from my home country and passed the local boards right after graduating. It wasn't easy, but all my hard work had paid off!

Long years had passed and God had a better plan for my life. I finally migrated to the US by early 2014, got married and moved to a very beautiful place with aloha rainbows and shimmering seas; moreover to say, that's when half of my journey continually begins.

I took my NCLEX-RN (National Council Licensure Examination for Registered Nurses) on March 2013. I studied for roughly 8 months as I sought licensure from the US Nursing Board. It wasn't an easy path to take since I was a Foreign graduate and Internationally educated, I needed to comply with the myriad of requirements that the US BON enforced. I felt anxious as I prepared for this long time dream exam. It had been 5 years since I graduated Nursing school and even though I worked as an RN in my home country, the fundamental concepts and theoretical aspects of what was taught in Nursing school (paper-pen exam) has already faded away in me. I was an average student way back in my college years, but I never failed an exam and consistently received either an A or B yet the thought of taking the NCLEX-RN petrified me! I enrolled at KAPLAN which gave me full access to a combined online + live review class and it lasted for up to 4 months. I gave all my heart on that review course. I traveled and commuted everyday for 2-3 hours (which in my case, is a TOTAL hassle since our transpo system in my country is so broken and crowded). I devoted time, money and so much effort in gaining back all the nursing content and knowledge that I've once had. I consistently scored around 55-70% and I never felt confident since I could barely get a 70% score on my tests. As days, weeks and months had passed, I kept pursuing and building up my momentum as I compile the nursing knowledge that I had 5 years ago. Only this time, I had 8 months to put it all into my head! I reviewed from 9AM-5PM at the testing center and reviewed again at home for 2-3 hours. I read the Saunders book cover to cover and finished about 80% of my KAPLAN resources. That was my tedious life cycle for those grueling months. A few weeks before I took the exam, I felt confident since I was one of those people getting the highest scores on the practice tests and my instructor had faith that I would pass on the first try. I was really already confident at this time yet still somehow anxious. I knew God was with me through this journey yet His presence was so solemn, so quiet and only few words were given. By the end of March 2013, I took my NCLEX-RN exam and the computer stopped at 75 items. Few days after I took the test, the mail came in and said, I FAILED!

My reaction? I was soooooooooo devastated! Never in my life had I felt that excruciating pain I had on that day. I was never a failure, yet on that day, I was. I began questioning God if being a USRN is what He really wanted for me. I gave up everything I had which included resigning from my nursing job, spending a large amount of money for the best review course in town and devoting my time to studying as I read my bible and prayed everyday that He'll get me through it yet I felt betrayed and lost that He made me take the exam only for one purpose - to fail. I was a devoted Christian yet on that day, my faith was shaken. I failed my family, my boyfriend, my KAPLAN and NEAC family but most of all, I failed myself. It was like a walk of shame telling my relatives, most especially those who are in the US, that I failed. I did good with my academics way back in Nursing school and never flunked an exam once. Everyone had their faith on me, yet I failed them... badly.

It took me months before I was able to gather myself up again. It was like a shattered glass trying to be put up into pieces. My boyfriend, whom had became my fiance made me realize that this was not the end of it all and it's never too late to pursue my long time dream of becoming a USRN.

Almost a year had passed by as I got petitioned and moved to the US, God had spoken to my heart... "I have a greater plan for you than you have for yourself" I decided to take the long NCLEX-RN journey again and by this time the Lord reminded me the very reason why I entered Nursing school. It was to become not just an RN, but a USRN! It was the Lord who had put that desire in my heart and it is ONLY through Him that it would be accomplished.

I devoted 5 months of my time reviewing diligently as I moved forward with this new chapter of my life and embracing this beautiful country. I did self review this time, availed an online review class and did around 3,000+ Q&As! I was scoring around 65-70-80% on my practice tests and was way more focused. What had helped me the most during this difficult transition was trusting God and trusting in His promises that it would all come to pass. As I read my bible everyday, the Lord always spoke to me and as I to spent more time with Him, the more clearly He revealed His will.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, "plans to PROSPER you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE."" (Jeremiah 29:11)

"And we know that in ALL things God WORKS for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his PURPOSE." (Romans 8:28)

I always asked God for knowledge and wisdom before I started my daily review. A single day would never pass by without me praying for His guidance.

"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ASK God, who GIVES generously to all without finding fault, and it will be GIVEN to you. BUT when you ask, you must BELIEVE and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind." (James 1:5-6)

Remember, He will never make us go through painful trials and sufferings without Him accomplishing the very purpose of His will. The Lord Himself will give us the strength and victory to overcome every task and difficulty. He has set His eyes upon you to transform you day by day to become a stronger person if you will only allow Him to. God wants us to depend on Him completely expressed through unwavering faith and trusting on the right timing of His perfect plan and will. It took me many long years before I was able to realized that.

On December 18, 2014, I had my second attempt at the NCLEX-RN and the computer stopped at around 120 items. Two days before Christmas the mail came in and I PASSED! I cried out so hard. The pain that I had felt before was surpassed by the over flowing love and favor of God who was with me all along. He was such a loving Father who taught me patience, perseverance and total dependence on Him.

"Now to him who is ABLE to do immeasurably MORE THAN all we ask or imagine, according to HIS POWER that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." (Ephesians 3:20-21)

These two very verses were the one that I really held on to. It was God's promise and I believed on it!

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." (Deuteronomy 31:8)

""I, even I, have spoken; yes, I have called him. I will bring him, and he will succeed in his mission. Come near me and listen to this: From the first announcement I have not spoken in secret; at the time it happens, I AM THERE." And now the Sovereign Lord has sent me, endowed with his Spirit."" (Isaiah 48:15-16)

...Never lose sight of your dream no matter how long it takes you to accomplish it. Your persistence will determine how real that dream is. Focus your eyes on the goal and set your eyes on Jesus! Run with endurance laying everything to God who rewards us more than what we've asked or imagined. It may not be an easy journey, but it was all worth it! Merry Christmas and thank You Jesus! All praises and glory be back to you! :)

- JPJ, BSN, USRN

(12-25-2014)