Published Sep 24, 2004
Hi guys, I made a mistake and predicted that I can retake the NCLEX in Nov, but it's really until about the first week of Dec. I figured that in the interim I would try and find a job in a hospital setting. I had an interview with a hospital that I thought would be a good fit for me. Let me tell you:
The nurse manager was stern (no warm fuzzies), but she semed fair. THEN...I was placed in a room with about 6 of the day shift RNs. It was an opportunity for both parties to ask questions. When I first entered, most of the nurses didn't even look me in the eye and had aloof postures. Then when I started asking questions, I received facetious remarks and was told that perhaps other facilities in the area would be more suited for me. Funny thing, this comment came from the person who would precept me. Can you say nightmare?
My bubble had busted. I thought this would be the place for me, but the nurses rubbed me the wrong way. I literally think they would make my life a living hell and would make me hate getting up in the morning. I know that nursing is hard..I have worked on hospitals floors ( in other capacities) and have never felt so sick.
My husband thought that it would be a great opportunity for me to turn things around. I don't want to sound negative, but these attitudes were so deeply rooted..it would be hard to change someone's personality in their mid 40s. I know..I've worked in personnel and had to deal with many personalities.
Anyway, The nurse manager practically hired me on the spot..but told her that I had to think about it. I came home and called three other facilities in the area. This is a second career for me, so I know to follow my gut.
I just don't know how I'm feeling now. Aside from this experience, I don't even know if bedside nursing is for me. I'm very outgoing, always smiling, very professional and love to work hard while caring for others, but the bedside atmosphere seems so depressing (not the pts, but other personnel). It's almost making me pursue other areas like research (little too introverted for me), pharmaceutical sales (friend is desperately trying to recruit me..never thought of myself as a drug pusher). Write now without my license, I feel pretty limited.
First things first I guess...pass NCLEX. I received the 2004-2005 Kaplan review book/CD-ROM (Windows) last night and already read the first 100 pages. Little pissed that we have a Mac household, but I already new that I would borrow a computer from a friend. My husband also wants me to enroll in Kaplan, but to me..Money is super tight.
o.k. babbling..Has anyone else felt this way? Did you feel like you made a mistake pursuing this career? i guess what motivated me was working in a clinic/home health setting..I have to tell myself that I can still do this, but have to pay my dues with a few years experience under my belt.
Any advice, words of encouragement would help.
Maggie in NC
Always trust your gut. If you don't feel good now, you'll be behind the eight ball trying to get the warm and fuzzy that may never happen! You're right about focusing on passing your boards first. Once that is done, more opportunities will be available! They don't call it "WOMENS" intuition for nothing! Follow it girl!! It won't let you down. Good luck on your boards!!!
Jennerizer, ASN, RN
I believe the money spent on the Kaplan review is money well spent. The pass rate is very high after taking their review course.
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