My first pt. died today

LydiaGreen · Oct 30, 2003

Before my first patient death, I thought it would be horrible... most students think they won't like palliative care. I lost a patient and a classmate lost a patient on the same day, the first for each of us. We helped each other with the death packages and after death care. There was no problem. Each of these deaths was expected, both of these patients were suffering in life. Death was peaceful and wanted. After three years of practicum placements, I can truly say that I love palliative care. I know that sounds weird to students who haven't been there. But, when a patient is suffering (and I've lost a few younger ones), death is a blessing. And all of this was occurring while my father was dying.

Palliative care is a wonderful field to work in if you have the personality for it. I have enjoyed it, thinking of taking a palliative care nursing course (through palliative care canada - wonderful program). It is an honour to be included in someone's final moments. A blessing to be able to ensure a peaceful, painfree transition to whatever beyond THEY believe in.

Haven't had an unexpected death. Don't know what I'd do about that one. One of my instructors worked in the ER while teaching us during second year. She seemed to be having a really bad day, so we asked her if she was alright, if there was anything we could do. She started crying and explained that she had performed chest compressions on a 23 year old for an hour... the patient died. She had a fatal asthma attack, left behind a 24 year fiance and six month old son. The worst part, is that this girl chain smoked. The smokers in our class got the lecture of our lives... she said that she never wanted to be sitting across our hips on a gurney doing chest compressions. This was a seasoned nurse, so I guess this just goes to show that any unexpected death is a tough one to deal with, traumatic for the nurse.

Hopefully your patient's death was a blessing, and it was peaceful and painless. Good for you for appreciating the privilege of being able to care not just for the patient, but the patient's family.

BarbPick · Oct 30, 2003

My first patient who died was in 1973. I was a Jr. Her name was Avis B. She had cancer, a young woman, married, as green as jaundice can be, with not even fuzz on her head. I stood in the corner and watched her husband brush the long blonde hair only he could see. He sang to her, rubbed her cheek and told me how beautiful she was.

I could not have asked for a better first expereince, that day, Death and I became friends. I progressed into an Oncology Clinician, Instructor and what I am now, a Forensic Nurse Specialist.

Make death your friend. If you do, you will have no issues or barriers. You can be there for your patient and their family, all bad feeling can be put aside.

Now, many of my patients are dead before we meet. I am still their nurse, their advocate.

How do I make light of all this, I use the line from the movie the sixth sense.."I see dead people". It is my honor .

Catma63 · Nov 1, 2003

Barbpick, That is one of the most beautiful posts I've ever read. I cannot tell you how moved I am.....indescribebly.

juji fruit · Nov 1, 2003

I 100% agree, catma. BarbPick, you definatly found your niche in nursing. I hope I can talk as passionatly about my niche when I find it :0)

Court

mother/babyRN, RN · Nov 1, 2003

originally posted by barbpick.....

my first patient who died was in 1973. i was a jr. her name was avis b. she had cancer, a young woman, married, as green as jaundice can be, with not even fuzz on her head. i stood in the corner and watched her husband brush the long blonde hair only he could see. he sang to her, rubbed her cheek and told me how beautiful she was.

i could not have asked for a better first expereince, that day, death and i became friends. i progressed into an oncology clinician, instructor and what i am now, a forensic nurse specialist.

make death your friend. if you do, you will have no issues or barriers. you can be there for your patient and their family, all bad feeling can be put aside.

now, many of my patients are dead before we meet. i am still their nurse, their advocate.

how do i make light of all this, i use the line from the movie the sixth sense.."i see dead people". it is my honor

you made me teary....how absolutely beautiful.....thankyou....

SmilingBluEyes · Nov 1, 2003

((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

i remember my first patient death, also. how it affected me is still with me today.....i felt awful and useless.

hang in there. you CARE and that is wonderful. do NOT ever lose that part of your, the soul of nursing.