My First Cry Today

babeinboots, MSN, NP, CNM · Jan 27, 2016

I remember my first lab check off, boy was I nervous! I was shaking, my stomach hurt, and I misinterpreted a comment my instructor made and burst into tears. I had to step out, take a break and compose myself before returning. I'll never forget that day, but guess what? I made it through and I graduate this summer.

You will overcome this as well. Don't worry, you are not the only one who has broken down during skills lab :yes: . Hang in there; don't forget to breath, and have confidence in yourself. Good luck!

eomLPN2016 · Jan 28, 2016

I appreciate that! It's been a new dimension for me as far as learning. Unlike memorization in anat&phys, the approach for the PN program is intensive and all conceptual. Total culture shock..yet I can tell a difference after 7 lectures in my critical thinking skills. I want to go back to my home health care background, assisting senior citizens. My confidence level was at zero because I felt other students caught on much faster than I. What kept me going was my perfect father insertion skill! But I panicked over heel wraps!!!

NurseGirl525, ASN, RN · Jan 28, 2016

So it's lab, not clinical? No, I never cried in lab.

I almost broke down last week in the actual clinical setting as I held the hand of a dying man because I didn't want him to die alone and his family could not be there yet as he went downhill suddenly.

Sorry. I just see things differently.

eomLPN2016 · Jan 28, 2016

I get pretty uptight during skills lab when I don't get it right the first time. In my mind, if I stink in lab trainong, then I'll stink during the actual rotations!!

direw0lf, BSN · Jan 28, 2016

I read you wrote "I felt so lost especially when others carried on" Try not to compare yourself to anyone in your class! I'm sure there is something you're better at than someone else who struggles (like the catheterization maybe). It's hard when everyone around you seems to be smooth sailing and inside you're lost, but remind yourself to focus on what you're doing only...and find your teacher before you get so frustrated?

NurseGirl525, ASN, RN · Jan 28, 2016

I get pretty uptight during skills lab when I don't get it right the first time. In my mind, if I stink in lab trainong, then I'll stink during the actual rotations!!

Just put it in perspective. There are going to be way more stressful things than sterile dressings in lab. Lab is where you should make a mistake with sterile field.

I I lost my first patient Friday. During that time you know what mattered? Nothing. Nothing but that man. Nobody cared what skills I had passed, what had happened to me earlier that day, nothing. We could not save him. He was too far beyond that and a dnr. Its honestly not about how you perform in lab. And lab and the clinical site are two different things.

I was amazingly calm during the entire episode. It was when the adrenaline stopped it hit me. It hit me what it was all about.

eomLPN2016 · Jan 28, 2016

Yes that's true...I believe every new stressor with school augmented for 2 weeks until I had to release! I left lab twice that morning to go week on the bathroom by myself!! Even contemplated leaving early. But I went back in, performed sterile technique, catheterized my "patient", collected that urine and documented smoothly!!

eomLPN2016 · Jan 28, 2016

Yes I truly empathize: many years ago as a CNA, one client of mine died midway during his bedbath. I even remember the "death rattle" I heard the morning prior. I finished the bed bath and dressed him up to show my proper respects. Importantly, you held his hand until the end.