moving back home, 2 year 'contract', crna vs management

[agirlcandream]

Hey guys:

I'm a longtime lurker,and was hoping for some insight with some issues that I am having.

I graduated from an ABSN program in 2013 and pretty much soon after I decided I wanted to pursue CRNA. I couldn't get into the ICU right away, so I did a year on a PCU, and after a year on that unit I decided to move to a southern state to get the required ICU experience, since I couldn't get an ICU position in my home state. It's about to be a year and my outlook on things have changed so much, that I am now confused about my future.

I do not know a single person in this state. I moved solely for the job. However, as someone who has lived a few different places throughout her lifetime, I figured this would be another adventure to tell the grandkids one day. I'm nearing my one year mark in the ICU, and I'm absolutely miserable. Surprisingly, what is killing me is the loneliness. I basically go to work and come home. This is a stark contrast from my previous life in my home state where I loved going to bars with friends, I was part of a cooking and language club, and etc. BTW, I'm from a major city. I'm also single and dating here is very difficult. I'm 29, and everyone at work asks me all the time why haven't I had kids or why am I still single. They thinks it's so "weird." I never really stressed about marriage prior to this, I figured when the moment was ripe, it would happen. Further complicating things, is the fact that I am not on social media and I don't use apps like Tinder. There is a major city that is about 75 mins away but, even on my days off I hate to drive. Everyone in my town, so it seems, is either already married or in a serious relationship.

I guess to wrap this up, would you guys move back home? I still do want to pursue CRNA (i think), however I'm consumed about thoughts of finding a relationship and meeting new people. My only issue is with a LOR. My manager will not write anyone a LOR unless they stay for 2 years. If I move back home I'm now derailing my CRNA plans, as I will now need to build rapport at my new place of employment. I thought about pursuing a career in management because the thought of working hard to create solutions that can impact an institution on a macro scale is fascinating, but I am very worried about politics. I recently shadowed a CRNA again and it has lost some of its luster. I'm not excited as I was initially. But I wounder if it is because of my current state and circumstances? I also like the management track because I can work while I advance my education and reduce my student loan burden.

I absolutely dread going to work now, and want to stay in bed all day. I can't continue like this. I'm not looking for someone to tell me what to do but I guess I am looking for some food for thought. Any takers? Thanks in advance.

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

I just want to give you a ((((((hug))))))).

I'm old - just wanted to get that out there to explain my frame of reference. Jobs will come and go. They are not your life. Your family & friends are far more important. Education and career advancement are not time-dependent. But if parenthood is in your life plan, this DOES have a finite deadline.

We need a continuous infusion of young talented and passionate & qualified nurse leaders. If this is a direction that interests you, go for it! I would also encourage you to begin stretching your wings now. Start moving up the responsibility ladder by volunteering for additional duties that will help develop your management skill set. Committee work, Preceptor, Charge Nurse... they're all part of that development picture.

BTW, LORs are not important. With ICU experience you're already a hot commodity that will be welcomed with open arms in just about any area of the country. If you really want to improve your chances, get your CCRN - that's the golden ticket.

[technofreak]

HouTX gave you some really good advice.

It seems like you want your cake and eat it too. It's a myth that you can have a 'perfect career' and a "perfect" life. It seems that you are approaching an age where many women start questioning their decisions, especially if they haven't gotten married or had kids. You are not unique in doing so. You have to make a decision, and pick one that you want to focus on.

Do you want to apply to CRNA school ASAP or move back to the area that you are from so you can start doing the things you enjoy again, and forging relationships. You are right, that if you pick the latter you may have an issue with getting an LOR for school from your current employer, but that is a decision that you will need to make.

Management isn't a terrible career track idea, but you are right in that it is very political. For the sake of rambling, everything in life requires hard work and sacrifice, including relationships. If you you choose to move back home and focus on that, then that is fine too. Indeed, pursuing management may be better for your future relationships because it is more flexible than the CRNA track, at least initially.

Let us know what you decide.

[agirlcandream]

Thank you for your time guys. I'm currently preparing to take my CCRN. I guess if I do move back home (which is what I'm moving towards), I was concerned about asking my new employer for an LOR within months of working for CRNA school.