6 Months Qualified - Want To Leave

Updated | Posted
by idonursing2000 idonursing2000, RN (New) New Nurse

Specializes in Ward Nursing. Has 1 years experience.

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I feel awful typing this because I love what I do for a job, knowing I can make a difference in someone’s life but I had a shift a few weeks ago which I think has ruined all the confidence I had build up the past 6 months.

The shift in question involved a patient unexpectedly passing away - even though I know I did absolutely everything I could, it still sits on my mind constantly. Since then I am always on edge when on shift and am a nervous wreck before I go in. I don’t sleep, feel too sick to eat and the anxiety is so high. 

Being a NQN this has become too much for me and the pressure is too much, due to understaffing in the UK we have to have 12 patients a shift and I’m struggling to split myself so everyone gets the best care possible. I then feel guilty for the patients I’m looking after.

Due to all of this I am really considering leaving the nursing profession because my mental health can’t take much more and I can’t cope with feeling so down all the time anymore, if anyone could offer any advice please I would appreciate it xx

Been there,done that, ASN, RN

Has 33 years experience. 6,824 Posts

Patients will die. If they are sick enough to be in the hospital... they are sick enough to die. NOBODY can take care of 12 patients. I had 30 years of experience and 8 was my max.

I would move on. You are only 6 months in and already can't do it.  Look for positions that use your hard earned degree.

 

Miss.Jersey, MSN, APN

Specializes in PMHNP. 54 Posts

It sound like you had a trauma and have developed anxiety from it. If so, therapy and/or meds could be helpful.

Michelle Csergei, BSN, RN

Specializes in SNF/LTC, Wound Care, Infection Control. Has 7 years experience. 1 Article; 7 Posts

Maybe your anxiety and PTSD is from more than that incident. You might love the job, but if the environment is not allowing you to do the best you can, maybe it's worth reconsidering. Nurses are continually being asked to do more and more without additional resources. I also think it takes time to train your brain to accept you did the best you could and to move forward without feeling guilty. I was talking the other day with some coworkers about how it took a couple years to be able to find that balance. 

There are a lot of different Nursing Jobs out there that you could explore. Even if you do something else for a while you could always go back in the future.