Mom having back surgery, I'm trying to help. Need advice Please

[lmt111]

My mother had back surgery about 2.5 years ago, to remove a chip of disk wearing down the dera from her spinal column. She was in severe pain prior, and had lost feeling and function of her leg. The surgery and recoop, went well, but recovery was very slow, painful, and frustrating. Added too the fact that my father took care of her, since I'm out of town. In her terms he took care of her "poorly". She did get her leg function back though eventually. She has been in a lot of pain since, well it varies on what she does, etc... But there were some periods that she could actually garden just a little, which is her passion. And she was able to survive my wedding in one piece, with only lying on the floor a couple of times. She swore she would never go through surgery again.

Now, she has another chip from the same deteriorating disk resting on her cord. In the doctor's terms "a very significant piece". And she's in too much pain to walk more than half a block, let alone do gardening, or sit and even read my emails for too long. She's just waiting for the end. So she's going back for more surgery. I'm taking the week after her surgery off, to help her. But I have no clue what I'm suppose to do, other than what she asks. She's severely depressed, which I totally understand, but I guess no one understands what pain for so long does to someone: other that you guys. Does anyone have suggestions for me: to help with her pain and post op week. (Anything that really helped you through the first week) Even if it seems silly like don't lift her foot too high, or give her a foot or arm message, or ???, or is she's going to be totally out of it and not know what's going on? Which is something I really have to prepare myself for, because I'm 30 years old, and she's 62, and that role reversal thing hasn't happened yet. Also, what can I do to help her with the aftermath of depression, pain, and frustration?

Thanks!

Laura

[LilStudent]

I would ask the doctor what can be done at home to help with your mom's recovery. You might also want to ask him if she will benefit from physical therapy afterwards. I had back surgery and my doctor sent me to physical therapy prior to surgery and after. It helped me a great deal. One thing that was important for me was to be up and moving around as soon as possible. I moved around at least once an hour when I went home, even if it was just a little. I was scared of getting a blood clot so that motivated me to get out of bed. :) With my type of surgery it was beneficial for me to move around as much as possible during recovery. Good luck to you and your mom.

[vaughanmk]

I agree with LilStudent. The Dr and nurses upon discharge should give you throughout instructions on rehab, advice for activity and restrictions. If they don't, then ask for them until yo uget them. Don't walk away without answers that satisfy you. And no I did NOT say please you. You might have to do more or less for you mother than you expected. Also, get instructions for what yo udo after you have to go home. Write them down for your father or see if insurance will pay for a home aide or nurse along with rehab. Good luck.

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

Go to PT with her, encourage her to do her exercises. Remind her that this little chip may have caused all her problems, but she will need months of steady work to get back in shape. Advocate for pain control, but push her just a little when she does PT. Intersperse (sp?) work periods with rewards and rest, and make the immediate post op period as pleasant as it can be. Think of it as a fresh start, a new chance to get back her life.