Minor in Nursing with social anxiety

[nabee34]

Hello my fellow RNs,

I am writing to seek an advice on my issue regarding Social Anxiety. I came here to the state in 2005 as an international student. I studied hard and became RN in 2010. After long job search time(2 years) I finally landed my first full time RN job at a local educational university hospital telemetry/medsurg unit in DC. It was the most difficult 1.5 year time in my entire life because I was cursed verbally by a lot of patients many times (I can handle this because I understand they are sick. And I honestly don't really understand the swearing + mumbling words.) and 90% of my patients were very heavy weight which I got my chronic lower back pain from. (There was not enough CNAs. Occasionally 1 CNA for 16-18 patients only if we're lucky)

The next job I had was full time ICU night shift RN at a private hospital in SW Florida which lasted only 6 months. I had a great fear of not having a physician present during the night shift and had to wake the MD up by paging them only when I did everything I can but still need new orders. First not only I always had fear of talking to someone on the phone but also I felt like I was living on the edge.

I took a long time off like 5 months and got another opportunity at a small surgery center/clinic where I got fired from after 3months working because I was rude and disrespectful to the office manager. The practice thought of me highly (a physician told me) but I refused their offer to be full time from my original part time position. As a part time RN I was scheduled to come in Tue through Thursday. Occasionally they schedule procedures on Mondays and Fridays and ask me if I can come with short notice like few hours. I always responded to come in and assisted the surgeons. But I have my life too so I schedule personal things on the days I am not scheduled to come in. Eventually I wrote a official email stating that I will do my best to come in for the days I am not scheduled but I recommend to hire a PRN nurse just in case I can't come in. And that was rude and disrespectful to the office manager...?! I don't understand how recommending to ensure the sufficient staffing can be seen as rude and disrespectful to someone. Did I just get discriminated based on my race? or was I wrong? I talked to a lawyer about this event but I decided to let it go.

This whole nursing experience has been very negative and I now think maybe it is me who has issues:( ?

I am totally confused now. I am fine with patients but I feel very awkward with colleagues (they're all nice people.) I don't have any friends in the state after being here 10 years. I usually don't have anything in common with people around here so I feel ve~ry nervous when I have to socialize with people in some event.

I am looking different options like being back to school for MSN and want to make sure the right major. I am even questioning if nursing is right for someone like me who is very introverted and anxious about phone calls and saving life..

[Carlalily]

I think managing your social anxiety will benefit you a lot. The right nursing job will come along, as you have more experience each year and there are so many different types of nursing areas. You will have something in common with others if you try. Don't be anxious about calling the doctors, you are only doing your job caring for the patients.