Military Wife - Class Planning Nightmare

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Hello! I am so glad I've found this site. This is my first time posting here.

My husband is active duty Army. His job requires us to move every 18-months to two-years. The longest we have ever stayed in one place is three years, due to it being considered an overseas assignment. At this point, he has about 11 years to go before retirement and our moving situation is not going to change.

As you can imagine, this has been a bit of a nightmare for me when it comes to planning out my education. I am currently enrolled part-time in school number five. We are moving this summer and will be at that duty station for at least one year, possibly two. We don't have any idea where we will be going after that.

I am trying to take the classes that most universities require students to have completed to apply to a program. This spring I'm signed up for college algebra and chemistry. The university I'm at does not require a lab for the chemistry course to get into the nursing program but at a couple of other schools I've gone to, they did. So I'm planning to go ahead and take it too.

Next year, at school number 6, I'm planning to complete anatomy & physiology, microbiology and statistics. Once I've got those done, I should be able to start applying to programs, depending on where we are being stationed.

So I'm wondering if anybody out there has been in my shoes? I've had a couple people suggest to me that I should stay behind somewhere with my kids and let my husband go on to his next assignment on his own so I can finish school. Not gonna happen. He's been deployed twice (Iraq & Afghanistan), long deployments too (17 mos and 13 mos). I'm sure we will have more down the road and our family is separated due to deployments and training enough as it is. I am also getting older, pushing the big 4-0 and starting to feel really anxious and frustrated about this. My extended family brushes it off when I try to ask their advice - treating me like this is a hobby of mine or something. Fortunately my husband is supportive and when I suggest that I should switch majors and go into another field (where I can knock my degree out online or something) he tells me not to sell myself short. My kids are getting older too, which is helpful. They are 8 and 11 so they are able to function around the house w/o me here all the time.

Sorry for the long background. I'm just wondering if anybody else has had these kinds of obstacles to overcome and if so, how did you keep your chin up and stay motivated? I'm tired of transferring and feeling like I'm starting over all the time!

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Bless your heart, Air Force wife here. We moved a lot but wow, not that much.It's going to be hard for you to even apply to a university type of nursing program. I personally went to a private nursing school. With having my needed "degree" pre-reqs out of the way I was able to get my ADN in about 15 months. It was an accelerated program and also very expensive. But I was able to contact the school before getting there. Staying behind a few months, might be something you need to think about. I know it's not something you want to do as a military wife, but we ( meaning us the wife )often have to make sacrifices for the sake of our family. This is something only you and your family can decide. I waited until my children were in middle-high school, I have 3 children, My son has Aspergers that was my main reason for putting my passion for nursing to the background. I'm sorry I can not offer you much advice regarding your schooling. I just wanted to let you know I understand your lifestyle and the different stresses you have regarding life, love, and the pursuit of following YOUR dream!! Being a military wife is a job all on its own!! My husband retired 2 years ago, that was a culture shock for him, big time!! Good luck to you, let me know if you need to vent, I have been thru 20 years as an AD/AF wife, along with a few overseas assignments and just a few ( 5) Iraq deployments. Take care!!

Michele RN

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Michele,

Thank you so much for responding! I think more than anything I just need to put things into perspective and reading your reply really has helped. My family is my number one priority and for my kids, I am their only constant. My husband is an infantry guy so moving as often as we do is part of the job (sometimes it's great, sometimes not-so-much). I haven't researched private schools much but I'm going to start because that sounds like it's going to be the best option for me. I spoke to my husband about it today and he thinks it's a good idea too. Like you said, more money...but to be able to accomplish my goals, I think it will be worth it. I think too, that if I had to stay behind for a couple of months to finish, I could handle that. In my original post, I was eluding to a nursing program advisor here who suggested that I stay back for 18 months to complete a program, while he went to the next duty station. I don't think I could handle 1.5-3 years apart (if we don't HAVE to). There's always that chance of him deploying and I'm just not willing to separate he and the kids for that long.

So my goal now is to research private programs and see where I fall into their program requirements and go from there. Thank you for sharing your experience! What does your husband do now that he has retired? Has he started a new career? Right now we are living as "civilians" while my husband runs an ROTC program at a state university. This has been so strange for us so I can imagine that retirement was a huge change of pace for the both of you! We go back to a regular Army post in June and I can't wait! I miss living on post, shopping at the commissary and my military family. I was so ready for a break from it but I am anxious to get back to it.

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Goodness! I wish you so much luck with all of this! I am a younger wife (Navy) and am starting my 4th college in 2 weeks. We live in VA and last month my husband got orders to CA. It was by the grace of God and a really great Master Chief that we were able to request new orders to stay here so I could finish my BSN. I was already accepted to a program and would have had to either stay behind for 2 years or give up my spot and start applying all over again. I know that it is stressful but I know it will work out for you. Timing may be off right now but you will see it fall into place for you. I am also attending a private school, but I am using my husband's gi bill to pay for it. Is that an option for you? He has to have either 11 years in already or 6 years in, 5 more on contract. Best of luck to you, I hope it all works out soon for you!

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I can totally relate to what you are going through. I am also doing my pre-reqs for nursing and have been forever and like you I am at college number 5. My husband is active duty army and we have moved within a few years after getting to a duty station. An option you can always consider is maybe a possibility for your husband to try and get stabilization? This semester is my last semester and I will have all my pre-reqs done and I can apply to a program, but like you we are scheduled to move this year and have no clue when or where. It gets very frustrating and I hope that someday there would be some sort of program for spouses like us to make it a little easier or even something where our husbands can stay for a certain time based on spouses being in college.

Although I don't have a ton of advice for you I have to say that your motivation to follow through with your plans is amazing!

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My fiancée is in the Air Force & my dad was in for 20 years so I definitely hear you about moving & sacrifice. I am waiting to finish nursing school & then will get married in 2015, a couple months after I graduate. Unfortunately, the spouse in the military will always have their career come first as I'm sure you are very aware of. But it continuously makes things tough. I agree with other posters who said to think into programs that are accelerated, particularly ADN. This way you can actually finish the nursing portion. This may require you to stay back for a couple months. But once you complete the degree, you will finally be a nurse. You can then do the RN-BSN degree online after that without switching schools or staying back when there's a move. My biggest recommendation is to make sure you choose an accredited school. There are plenty of schools out there that offer faster degrees but lack in accreditation or a thorough education. Good luck to you!

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I know exactly how you feel. I am an Air Force wife. My husband has been deployed for the past year. He'll be returning this spring and we have to move to our next duty station. I, however, have to stay behind to finish my nursing school. The part that sucks the most for me is that they're making us move out of the base housing. This means that I have to find somewhere to live for a few months. Even though it will suck being apart, I'll be so happy in August when I finally have a degree. Good luck!

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I know exactly how you feel. I am an Air Force wife. My husband has been deployed for the past year. He'll be returning this spring and we have to move to our next duty station. I however, have to stay behind to finish my nursing school. The part that sucks the most for me is that they're making us move out of the base housing. This means that I have to find somewhere to live for a few months. Even though it will suck being apart, I'll be so happy in August when I finally have a degree. Good luck![/quote']

Do any friends have spare rooms? When I was active we had spouses stay with us if they had to split for a while because of school or other jobs; wasn't a big deal for us!

Posting from my phone, ease forgive my fat thumbs! :)

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