MIddle Aged and Burned Out...Any Suggestions?

[westieluv]

I have been an RN for over 23 years and have worked for much of that time, sometimes per diem, sometimes full-time, and with an occasional break to be a stay at home mom. Our two kids are grown now, and I have been working full-time for the past few years. I am starting to realize more and more that in devoting the past few decades of my life to the task of caring for others, I am getting to be a very burned out nurse.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like there wasn't any good in it. I LOVED caring for and raising our kids and I would love to do it all over again if I could. I have also had some good times in my nursing career, times when I actually felt like I made a difference in someone's life, and of course, I got paid for my efforts, lol.

So here I am, pushing fifty with two grown kids and a husband and really...just plain tired of going to work and totally ignoring my needs to constantly fulfill the needs of others. If that sounds selfish, well, then I guess I am being selfish, but honestly, I just feel burned out. It's like...I want someone to ask ME if I need an extra blanket, or if I'm tired and need to rest, etc. once in a while. It's like, "Gee, I'm sorry if your toast wasn't hot this morning, but really...I can't even go to the bathroom when I need to!" (I am an acute inpatient dialysis nurse and have to stay with the patient the entire 3-4 hr. treatment, so no food, no drinks, and NO bathroom unless I can find a hospital nurse with five minutes to spare to sit with her patient, which is very rare, but it's more or less the same in most areas of nursing in that you often have to neglect your own needs.)

Can anyone relate to what I am saying here?

The upshot of it is, with one of our kids still in college, there is zero money for me to go back to school at this point in my life unless we want a bunch of debt or to find a job in retail or somewhere "happy" (zoo, museum, etc.)that pays a fraction of what I am making now, but that's what I dream of, a job where people are actually happy and healthy and WANT to be there. I'm soooo tired of sick people!

I don't know if I'm just venting or looking for suggestions, but has anyone else here experienced this? Are there any jobs that I can do with my nursing degree that don't involve sick people, lol?

[Biffbradford]

Welcome to the club, I'm grappling with the very same problem right now. I am so jealous of people who appear to love their job and they don't have to deal with someone trying to die on them!

[westieluv]

And do you question why you ever became a nurse? I spend entirely too much time thinking about "what if" I would have chosen this or that career instead of nursing? How different would my life be today? I mean...I really, really need a change, but it just isn't possible right now.

[DoeRN]

I've been in direct patient care for 12 years RN for 5 years and I dread going to work and I'm PRN at this point. Do you have a BSN? Sorry if you already answered this in your first post. If not then maybe you can attend a cheap RN-BSN online program and go into management. I was actually in management for a stint and I liked it but not the company I worked for. Not sure if you thought of going this route. Or maybe school nursing or a clinic? Case management, insurance company especially with all your experience.

Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com

[Biffbradford]

For me, managing people and budgets is not my cup of tea. I'm looking for clinic work.

[westieluv]

DoeRN,

Thanks for your reply. I don't have my BSN, but I also have zero desire to be in any kind of nursing management. At least when I am the underling, I can go home and leave my job behind. I have never had a manager who didn't seem to eat, sleep, and breathe her job and that's definitely not for me. I also don't like conflict and having to discipline adults, especially cranky, burned out nurses, lol. I appreciate the suggestion, it's just not for me. I am really burned out.

I just plain want out of nursing. Period. I want to do something that has absolutely nothing to do with healthcare or taking care of sick people. The problem is that to have the income that I have now, I would have to go back to school and we can't afford it without going into debt.

[Guttercat, ASN, RN]

Westie,

As a fellow Acutes RN, I get it.

I will tell you... I've been out of Acute HD for a year (in school full time) and I miss it. I really do.

That said, HD (as my favorite nephrologist once told me) can "suck the life out of you."

Maybe cut back on hours, but keep your toe in the game.

As I've conemplated different fields while doing this school-thing, I'm learning just how much these patients have made my life, rather than sucked the life out of me.

It's a balance issue: you can only give from what is in the tank while still reaching your destination.

Hugs.

[krisiepoo]

I can't really offer any input as I'm just graduating, but I used to work in case management as a social worker and we had a lot of nurses on our teams (1 SW, 2 RN and a secretary). Many (not all) were nurses who were getting older and didn't want to be floor nurses anymore. With case management they were able to make decent money, help people remain independent in the community using their nursing skills, and prevent the burnout that was right around the corner.

So I guess I"m saying, how can you use your nursing degree in a different way? our local health insurance companies are looking for experienced nurses all the time. Maybe you need a change in focus?

[classicdame, MSN, EdD]

I went thru this myself and ended up changing career focus entirely. I was able to go to school on financial aid and I still worked, but I began focusing on what I wanted out of my life, not my job. Even something as simple as picking up a new hobby helps. I hope you find your balance soon.