mental illness but student nurse

[worriedSPN]

Hi all,

It's my first time posting here and I wasn't sure where quite to post about my problem. I have been suffering from panic attacks and general anxiety for 4 years not and have gotten a wonderful regimen to keep it under control. I'm currently an LPN student and only have 4 months until graduation. My problem is that while I have managed all other school related anxiety during the week, I have had a rough time with clinical with one particular teacher. I have no problem talking or being around her classtime, but during clinical I get so nervous and anxious around her that its made it hard to concentrate. I've had tachycardic responses, some difficulty breathing, and I hate to admit this, but have double dosed on my antianxiety medication (I've already addressed this with doc and working on it) just to get through the day with only her. My teacher is not an intimidating person that much, but I feel like she is in clinical. It's not so much her as it is me and the anxiety.

I have been afraid to tell my regular lecture teacher or nursing team leader for the school because the 3 of them are very close, and don't want this my clinical teacher to find out and take it the wrong way, because I do think she is a wonderful and helpful teacher. So why I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack around ONLY her in clinical is beyond me. I dont have this problem with any other clinical instructor or any of the clinical settings, only when she's around.

I have been working with therapy and a med regimen for years but can't understand why its just her. My question is, what should I do? Should I approach a teacher and risk having them talk behind my back (because they've admitted they do talk)?

BTW i have this clinical instructor fot the next 8 weeks...

[Jules A, MSN]

I would do whatever you need to just to fly under the radar and get through the next 8 weeks without disclosing this to any of them if at all possible. Hopefully your Doctor can help you. It was my experience that nursing school was not a nurturing environment and any weakness was exploited. Hang in there.

[latebloomer74, LPN]

It may just be clinical itself that is stressing you out. Clinical is very stressful for everyone, but for people like us who have panic disorder it is doubly hard. I agree with the other poster, just don't mention it to the other instructors, most likely the this would "put you under the microscope" so to speak and perhaps make the instructor more critical of you. Good luck, you can do it!!! And don't forget to take nice deep breaths with your diaphram (sp.?) when you are feeling anxious or panic-ing, it really does help. (: