how many times have you transformed your life?

thinkertdm · Jul 13, 2010

5 or 6, actually. The first was when I moved from Buffalo, NY to live with my girlfriend. I had just graduated college, and had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do. So, in DC, I attended Montgomery College until my girlfriend was accepted to PA school, and I was able to take her job at Walter Reed. So that's one phase.

3 long years later, my girlfriend (the same one) graduated PA school, so I quit my job and moved to Hershey, PA. I got a job at Hershey Medical College as a research assistant, working with monkeys. Then she broke up with me, and I had to live on my own. 10 months after to moving to Hershey, I was moving back to DC. Thats phase two.

After working 2 more years at WRAMC, I found a job down the street at the National Naval Medical Center. I was there maybe two years before the study grant was closed and I lost my job- one week after my new girlfriend moved from Illinois. That short period is number 3.

Back to WRAMC- for another 10 months or so. I was miserable in this new position, and found a job- in Fresno, CA of all places. So my wife (we got married!) and I moved across the country in a little yellow bug to CA- and ending phase four.

18 months later, we both realized that California (at least the Fresno part) was not for me, and I was able to - you guessed it- get a job at WRAMC. So the yellow bug, my wife, and now a cat, drove across the country yet again. Phase five.

Two years at WRAMC, and I was accepted to PA school in Albany, NY. Phase six.

In the middle of phase 7, and now a son is in there too- he's 4 months, and everytime he smiles at me, makes me realize what the plan was all along.

Each one of those phases was a distinct period in my life- and most were fraught with uncertainty and confusion. In Fresno, we had to save up cans to collect the deposit for food. In Hershey, I was barely making enough money to pay the bills. In DC, I was busy paying off credit cards ($24K worth) I had foolishly gotten myself into.

The biggest thing I learned from my travels is that the only thing that had stopped me was (aside from my contracts running out, that's the cost of working as a contractor for the government) was myself. Each of us has the power inside to change our lives.

Sophiamez · Jul 13, 2010

5 or 6, actually. The first was when I moved from Buffalo, NY to live with my girlfriend. I had just graduated college, and had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do. So, in DC, I attended Montgomery College until my girlfriend was accepted to PA school, and I was able to take her job at Walter Reed. So that's one phase.
3 long years later, my girlfriend (the same one) graduated PA school, so I quit my job and moved to Hershey, PA. I got a job at Hershey Medical College as a research assistant, working with monkeys. Then she broke up with me, and I had to live on my own. 10 months after to moving to Hershey, I was moving back to DC. Thats phase two.
After working 2 more years at WRAMC, I found a job down the street at the National Naval Medical Center. I was there maybe two years before the study grant was closed and I lost my job- one week after my new girlfriend moved from Illinois. That short period is number 3.
Back to WRAMC- for another 10 months or so. I was miserable in this new position, and found a job- in Fresno, CA of all places. So my wife (we got married!) and I moved across the country in a little yellow bug to CA- and ending phase four.
18 months later, we both realized that California (at least the Fresno part) was not for me, and I was able to - you guessed it- get a job at WRAMC. So the yellow bug, my wife, and now a cat, drove across the country yet again. Phase five.
Two years at WRAMC, and I was accepted to PA school in Albany, NY. Phase six.
In the middle of phase 7, and now a son is in there too- he's 4 months, and everytime he smiles at me, makes me realize what the plan was all along.
Each one of those phases was a distinct period in my life- and most were fraught with uncertainty and confusion. In Fresno, we had to save up cans to collect the deposit for food. In Hershey, I was barely making enough money to pay the bills. In DC, I was busy paying off credit cards ($24K worth) I had foolishly gotten myself into.
The biggest thing I learned from my travels is that the only thing that had stopped me was (aside from my contracts running out, that's the cost of working as a contractor for the government) was myself. Each of us has the power inside to change our lives.

amazing journey... thanks for the post

marielina85 · Jul 13, 2010

wow I can't believe how similar how we are. It's scary actually, but I think they'res no use killing yourself over what could have been. You can only try and make your life better from now on. Keep your head up girl=D

gentlegiver, ASN, LPN, RN · Jul 13, 2010

I did a quick count and came up with 7 times.

1st when I got married, he cheated on me and emotionally abused me, so I took me a big girl pill & walked divorced him.

2nd time, I married again, a severe alcoholic, had 2 kids with him before I realized how bad he was. Divorced again!

3rd, Sat down & asked myself what is it about me that attracted lousers, realized I thought they were the best I could get. Went about learning that I didn't have to settle.

4th, Put myself thru Nursing school! Because it was something i always wanted to do and I felt the time was right.

5th, Raised my kids on my own, and when they finally moved out on thier own, I started dating again. This time with rules!

6th, Became a Grandma, life takes on a whole new meaning when you see your grandchildren. You realize that the years are indeed moving on. Mortality rears it's ugly head & you really start to think about where you've been & where you're going.

7th, Met a wonderful man who is truely responsible for himself. He gives me the freedom & strength to go after my dreams. Finally my life is truely headed in the right direction.

Each time I made a change in my life, I was scared to death! I just knew that my life as it was wasn't what I wanted or deserved for myself or my daughters. There were times when I wanted to give up on the changes, times when I would cry myself to sleep at night. Times when breathing seemed impossible. Just remember, the changes you make are for your own good. It's ok to be scared. Being stuck in a place, however safe it may seem, is not healthy, you deserve to give yourself more. Good Luck, may you find the Happiness you are looking for.

Faeriewand, ASN, RN · Jul 14, 2010

Counting 4 and perhaps moving into a 5th phase.

My first phase was acting stupid as a teenager and then getting married at 18 and still acting stupid. That didn't work out and I left with my baby, my first. But I knew no fear then and I was so excited to get away from such a dangerous and crazy person. I was full of joy. Unknowing people would tell me sorry that I was getting a divorce and I would say, " I"m not!" :lol2: I was 22 then. And I met my second husband just a few weeks later.

So the second phase was being with my second husband and raising a family. I was still quite a scatterbrain and didn't stick up for myself. But then something came over me and after about 15(?) years of that behavior I started to find my power. 3rd phase, still with my family but more angry at being taken advantage of. That was too bad. You can't live in anger but no one would listen if I didn't yell. Now my fourth phase and I'm calmer. Put myself thru nursing school. Still with DH and still have the youngest ones at home. DH has withdrawn all financial support and we live together but separate in a way. It's sad really.

But things are looking more different every day. I always said I would start my life when I graduated nursing school. (hmmmm. I think that could be me acting stupid again but I still believe it) Once I have financial stability it will give me the ability to move about and do things and I don't have to depend on others. So I'm excited about beginning this new phase in life. I'm also a little depressed that I wasted so much time and couldn't take the bull by the horns sooner. But I didn't have much help in life so I had to do it myself. And I wouldn't let my children play second fiddle. I tried to do the best job I could as a mom because they deserved that. I did lots of things with them. I hope they look back on that with fondness. :redpinkhe

My younges is 15 now and I leave him be. He likes best to hang with his friends and skateboard. And me? I like to dream

undecidedmom · Jul 20, 2010

:crying2: Where do I start!! I am ridiculous. My entire life is a failure. OMG. I am 41 yrs old. I've tried twice to become a registered nurse because I wanted a better quality of life for myself and my children. I came from an abusive marriage where I ran off one day with both children to escape the abuse. During that time is where I enrolled in college a second time. The first time I was still married. He didn't support me, by taking care of the children while I study. To come up to speed I married a second time in hopes to get support and love. Meantime I enrolled in college to study nursing my second time as I have mentioned already ...something is wrong I always have to repeat myself.

It didn't work out because I struggled in math the entire time. Iam so stupid I can't pass basic math. How will I pass the more difficult math? During the second marriage I started a cleaning business. A cleaning business freaking business!! It went well and I became upper middle class. I bought a big house and drove a mercedes benz. Oh yes things were looking up. I thought. Well to make my sad story short, my second husband didn't work out either. I won't get into why, because it breaks my heart to keep talking about it. However, I went down to nothing again. Now I have children that hasn't finished college, I am unemployed and I'm struggling to make life better for myself. One thing I realized finally is that I can't run to a man for support. The thing is I don't believe in myself anymore. All of my hope is gone. It is embarrassing to go back to college and can't pass math exams again. I am ashame when young people master the math and I have to go up to the professor and tell them I just can't do it! The hilarious thing of all I pass pyschology, anatomy, english and all the other required things for to enter the program, but I can't do math. It hurts because I want some sense of self worth at this point. I know I would make a great nurse if I can understand the math part of the program.

Men have been my biggest downfall in life. If I didn't need them to support me, I probably could find one that truly will love and respect me oneday. May be I would meet a doctor if I were a nurse. It's not all about meeting someone but I never wanted to become an old maid and be alone for the rest of my life.

The most important thing is that I figure out what I'm going to do with my life. There aren't too many other things I'd like to be. I love kids, but daycares do not pay very much and I'd work long hours. I wondered if it would be to my best interest to find a study buddy that will help me along the way. I went to Chattahoochee Tech College in Georgia for nursing before. There I had a tutor and I still could not manage to pass my math classes. If I return that is where I'll go and try it again. It is a small school and I love attending small schools. In 1990, I received a diploma in medical assisting in hopes of working around a doctor. My assumption was that it would be a great avenuem while I study to become a registered nurse. To my surprise I never found a permanent job as a medical assistant. At the interviews I was always told, :crying2: I didn't have any experience. It hurt to think about what a dedicated student I was. Many nights I sat up late at night to the early morning hours studying. My average was an A. What would you do guys? I don't have income, my kids need to attend college, I don't have anyone to help me get through this. As a result I decided to turn to allnurses forum in hope someone would guide me. This is a cry out for help. Please I need someone.

This is has caused resentment in my life. I never thought in my wildest dreams I'd be unemployed forever and too dumb to pass a math class. There are days where I've pictured my name on my office door as a midwife. All of this trouble was in hopes that one day I'd be a midwife. What would you do? I am getting old.