Any students out there dating veteran RNs?

  1. Are there any guys out there who are dating someone more experienced in medicine than themselves?

    I'm dating this girl I met when I started working as a tech in a cardiac SICU. Things are going really well between the two of us but there's this one part of our relationship that i hate. I hate that I'm a greenhorn student who is new and knows nothing about nursing and she is a seasoned nurse who has been working for about 5 years now. I know it's a totally stupid hang up, but I can't help it. I just hate it that whenever the subject of work comes up I can't talk to her as an equal. Instead I find that I have to listen passively, sort of like I'm listening to an instructor. Like I'm the young "grasshopper" who must admire the wise kung fu master.

    I realize that the best thing to do would be to just get over it and quit whining, but part of me just wants to whine anyway.

    I was just wondering if there are any other guys out there who are in a similar situation?
  2. Visit misterniftypants profile page

    About misterniftypants

    Joined: May '07; Posts: 4


  3. by   Stubbleuffagus
    Hello Misterniftypants,

    I am not a guy nor a seasoned nurse, however I thought I would drop my two cents for you :-)

    From a woman's point of view (scary huh?)

    I can understand why you would feel like you do when the subject of work comes up, but don't think of it as "student and season nurse." To me you have an advantage. You have a great study partner and someone who you can lean on for the subjects you're having a hard time with. Use the "work" aspect of your relationship to get to know each other more. That is a great opportunity for you to get to know her more, as well as her to you. You'll be able to learn her stengths and weaknesses. You'll learn more about your relationship, her and yourself if you don't look at it as a student and an experienced nurse. When the situations come up where you feel like you have to sit aside and just listen to her talk about work related issues that you don't have the experience in.... smile and nod that's what I do. haha... no, seriously, think of it as an additional learning experience. Ask questions when you don't know something... that will keep the conversation going and she'll know you're interested.
  4. by   Asklepios
    I think you have a great advantage over those of us who aren't dating a nurse! You have a great resource in your life. I know some nurses (two of my good friends are married to 12 yr veterans), but I can't just bounce things off them whenever I have a question.
  5. by   nnayr
    Bro, i understand your situation. I, too, am dating this girl although she's not yet a nurse. She's ahead of me by a year. She just graduated this year and I'm an incoming 4th year this coming school year. Sometimes when we have discussions about school stuff, I listen to her because I know she has more knowledge about things I still don't understand. That situation doesn't lower my status in our relationship rather it's a satisfying experience for me. We have first times in everything so see yours as positively as you can. You're lucky you have someone to ask anytime unlike instructors.
  6. by   MT RN
    Don't whine about it, swallow that male pride and use the situation to your advantage! I took up nursing as a second career, my wife has been a nurse for 25 years. I honestly don't know how I would have made it through nursing school without her input. I know that I drove her crazy sometimes with my questions, but I knew I could always count on her to clear up things that I didn't understand.

    I've been a nurse for a few years now, and although she will always have more experience and knowledge about nursing than I do, we can at least now talk about nursing on a somewhat equal footing. Give it time, the more you learn the easier it will get to relate to her.
  7. by   misterniftypants
    thanks a lot people. you're all right, i do have a great opportunity to learn from someone who really knows her stuff. i guess i just would rather that sometimes she would be a little more patient with me when i ask "stupid" questions. she knows nursing so well that it's hard for her to come down to my level and talk like a regular person. she'll give me a hard time about stuff that she thinks is common knowledge.

    there was one time when she was kidding me about how I didn't know how much ibuprofen would get rid of her headache, and another time when I didn't know what body temp was important to be concerned about (the patient was 96 degrees I thought I should worry about it). she also gave me the "well duh" response when I asked her if 10 units of blood over 12 hours was a lot of blood to have to give to a liver failure patient (i didn't know how much blood was in a unit). she still kids me a lot about the time she tried to teach me how to start an IV and I left a big bruise on her arm.

    i know i'm really new and i make a lot of mistakes and there's a lot i don't know. i'm okay with that, i just wish she wouldn't make me feel like such a moron for being new. i wish once in a while she would admit to me that there were a lot of things she screwed up when she was new too.
  8. by   Bill E. Rubin
    Quote from misterniftypants
    i wish once in a while she would admit to me that there were a lot of things she screwed up when she was new too.
    Have you told her this? She might not know how she's making you feel.
  9. by   Sirkraker
    yes. Am a Tech in the ER and am starting nursing school in October. My girlfriend of 7 months is an RN in the Peds ER. She is looking foward to me starting school. I got free help. LOL
  10. by   Gurmo
    A) You are lucky to be dating somoene period.

    B) You are lucky to have a resource when you need it.

    I don't see why you would complain but hey, everyone thinks the grass is greener. But yeah, you I think you should communicate your problems to her instead of on these forums. UNLESS, however, she reads these too and this is a way of reaching out to her.....
  11. by   jllsnpccc
    Wow I understand this one pretty good myself. My wife is a physical therapist and has been for 10 years. Before going to Nursing school I was a mechanic, so NOTHING remotely the same, except the body is essentially a machine. I can remember asking my wife what PO, PRN, etc. all means, then came all the positioning, etc. that she does for a living and I felt stupid about. Cool thing is now she has to ask me ALOT of stuff that she has absolutely no idea about because it is not her specialty. I remember 5 years ago not understanding half of what her and her friends were talking about (that foreign medical language) but now all is good. I did have to finally confront my wife about the way I was feeling, belittled, etc. and all got better. We all seem to forget where we came from at times.
  12. by   Balder_LPN
    I realize that the best thing to do would be to just get over it and quit whining, but part of me just wants to whine anyway.

    I still have a relationship with my exwife (IDK Why, but we do) and she is a new RN, LPN for several years before. We actually are teaching each other sometimes. She has been studying with me (I am nearing completion of LPN School). Me getting it in class and her with practical experience makes for a dynamic conversation.

    I am guessing you are probably pretty young (I am 40) and your feelings are very common to younger men (stereo typing, but it certainly has roots in reality)
  13. by   Darklighter
    I have to disagree with some of the other replies here. Misternifty, I seriously doubt that you have to be told "you should be glad you're dating a nurse" because I imagine that you probably already figured that out a long time ago. I myself am only just now entering the 1st yr of the program at my school, but for my 2 cents, I've worked at a hospital and in management and around RNs & people in general enough at many jobs to know that there is simply no point in or excuse for acting arrogant or down-one's-nose at someone who is lower on the totem pole of knowledge and experience. Too, if she's been an RN for 5 years already, I would think that she should have enough experience interacting professionally and personally with other people to know better. Maybe she's already getting burned out or maybe this is just the way her personality unfolds given the context of your relationship. Whatever the case, hang in there.