Major discrimination


So I got a nasty taste of discrimination today! I interviewed for a job at a pediatric office and they were gushing about my resume and personality and background. I shadowed the physician, they offered me the job, and we were discussing contract details. Then the office manager (also the physician's husband) started asking personal questions about my childcare arrangements, etc., and I politely let him know that even though it's not necessary for me to tell him, I had a support network in place and have worked, gone to school, and had a child during my husband's deployments before. He then stopped contacting me for 2 weeks. I finally called today and he said, "but what will you do with 2 kids while you're at work?" I was shocked and told him I would do what any mother does and utilize someone else to care for my children during work hours. He said they "really like" me and want to "accommodate" me but he just doesn't know anyone who could have 2 kids, work full-time, and have a husband in the military. "No one could juggle that many balls", is what he said. He also specifically said they've been "burned" before by female employees when their children got sick. I didn't even know what to say so I told him to go ahead and send me the contract details for the part-time job. Since then I came to my senses and said thank-you, but no thank you. I'm convinced the change of heart came because he didn't realize I was pregnant during the interview (I was open about it when I shadowed the physician).

Anyway, I'm livid but don't feel that pursuing legal action is worth it. Is there any kind of just reporting that won't involve any further action?


3 Posts

I can't even believe this is 2015 and I'm reading this. So instead of working forty hours a week, managing THREE kids, and having a deployed husband I should just- what? Fall apart? Sit at home and wait for him to come back so I can restart my life? Is it a juggling act? Some days yes, but I'm proud to say that we have only dropped a few balls, and they weren't major. Yay us! I did have to wait some time at our new duty station to find a job that was the right fit, but I did. I found a great employer, actually a veteran owned small business, but I'm proud to say I do work everyday and haven't had to be "accommodated" more than any other employee! At the beginning of the deployment I did have mini panic attacks about keeping it all together, but with careful planning and good childcare, none of my fears have come to fruition. I wish you the best of luck, and I think you dodged a bullet!


232 Posts

Specializes in Critical Care.

Sounds like the Universe is doing you a major favor in showing you what kind of person you would (have) been working for. Be thankful you got to see what kind of person he is BEFORE you started.


1,761 Posts

Specializes in Neuro, Telemetry. Has 8 years experience.

What a misogynistic jerk. Oh you poor lowly mother. What ever will you do without your husband there to support you while you work? I sure wonder how all these single for mothers out there provide for their children since they seem to need so many accommodations. They should probably all just stay home. Geez. Some people are idiots.

If if anything a parent would likely be more apt to go to work because they have children depending on their income. A mother may need a day off here and there for a sick kid or whatever, but child less people need personal days and get sick as well.

Sorry he he was such a jerk, but at least true colors were shown now before you get working in a possibly hostile environment.

Trauma Columnist

traumaRUs, MSN, APRN

165 Articles; 21,214 Posts

Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU. Has 31 years experience.

Disgusting and I totally agree that you were correct in not taking a job there.

Military wives rock!


1,116 Posts

Well, to step in their shoes for a moment: From a small business/small office perspective I totally get their concern. The office and the other practicing provider are in a huge bind when our kids get sick, etc. Especially in a small privately owned office. You have multiple staff whose reimbursement depends on two providers who are actively billing...and now they have one provider and not enough billing going out to cover overhead expenses for the day. No doubt the NP in the job before you totally did this to them multiple multiple times leaving them with angry patients to reschedule or a provider whose load was doubled more than once and maybe even financial issues as a result. It's not like our days working ICU where they could just call in an RN from the float pool to take our place when we called in sick. It also sounds like the physician has the luxury of having her husband be a SAHD/office manager and they just can't fathom another provider who doesn't have the same arrangement.

So yeah, I get that. I actually always outed myself at interviews explaining family stuff, how we had it all covered (My husband and I alternate sick kid care days, etc.) Letting them know up front where they stand on the priority list is a good thing ad I've found most to be receptive to my honesty. But what he did is rude, very illegal and just completely tacky. Your first warning should've been when you realized the office manager was the physicians husband. That is never ever going to end well! I am so glad you found out about it at the very beginning and didn't accept the position. Your second warning should've been "they gushed about my resume" and then practically offered you the job on the spot or the next day? Any solid, thorough, professional office is going to give it at least a few days. Offering you the job so quickly is a sign of desperateness.

Sorry this happened to you, hope you are moving on towards better offers.


53 Posts

Specializes in ER. Has 4 years experience.

Well, I totally get the realistic need to have dependable employees and that's why I let them know that I had both a plan and experience in place when they first asked about it (instead of crying - illegal! Personal!). He was so impressed that I graduated with a 4.0 but I guess it didn't occur to him that I did that with a newborn, while working as an RN, with a deployed husband! They are also a 3 location practice with about 10 providers, so they are definitely able to manage when a provider calls out. Come to think of it, when I went to shadow they had to reschedule me from the morning to the afternoon because the physician decided to schedule a dentist appointment for herself! But yes, I am glad I found out what they were like ahead of time.