Love/Hate relationship with nursing..........help

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Specializes in ICU & Med/Surg.

Hi everyone. I am new to the site and a new nurse. I have been working for nine months now and I am very unhappy. I need some input please. I have a love/hate relationship with my job. I am not sure if I really want to be a nurse anymore. I know the first year is hard and it should get better but I am feeling very let down still. I have wanted to be a nurse all my life and finally became an RN at age 39. Now I am wondering if all my hard work, debt, and my dream are nothing more than heartache. I have 7 patients at night and with admits and this patient load, I struggle to get things done fast enough. I have never worked this hard in my life, never been under this much pressure, stress or had this many physical issues caused by my job. I LOVE caring for my patients but the other things I listed are making me hate my job. I work with wonderful people and get plenty of support as a new nurse. I force myself to keep going to work and keep hoping it will get better. I cry at the end of my shift way too often. I have moments at work when I feel so good and then five minutes later, I want to cry. I feel like I can't be a good nurse because everything has to done so quickly, it is not the standard of patient care I want to provide. I constantly worry that I am going to miss something big because of it. Now, we are under all this pressure to not have overtime so it is even more stressful and I have to chart less so I can get done on time and not risk getting written up for OT.

So now I just don't know if it is just not for me or if it really is the "new nurse" thing. :confused: I feel so let down and frustrated, it honestly hurts like a broken heart. I am sad to feel this way after finally achieving something I wanted my entire life. Any input is highly appreciated.

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Specializes in ED, ICU, lifetime Diabetes Education.

I think it is the new nurse anxieties. When I have to stay late I explain thoroughly what I did during my shift and it is all good. My advise is tto be very thorough on your charting & explain out all in your overt time sheet.

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Unfortunately most hospitals are the same. They purposefully understaff in order to save money, and everything falls on the nurse. While experience helps with any job, it can't fix the 'not enough hours on a shift' problem. Since you are already at 9 months I don't think its a new nurse problem, rather it seems an all-too common floor problem. I've been around this site long enough to know that that problem is shared by many.

The vast majority of hospitals are simply broken - far more nurses are needed, and there are state and national campaigns going on to try to implement ratio laws like the ones that exist in California. Simply put you can not give excellent care to each patient each shift with a load of 7+ when you do your own admits. I know how it is, I've worked through down right dangerous shifts before. But of course hospitals need to make money too to keep their doors open, so I don't know what the solution is that would please both sides. Personally I think management has a lot more they could give to staffing that they don't, but I can't kid myself that there could exist a dream hospital out there with no problems. So its how each nurse individually feels about situations such as that. I know some people cope by saying to themselves that they did the best they could for each patient with the patient load that they had, and they go home satisfied with that. I know others that take multiple short cuts which I would not be comfortable doing. Still others basically decide not to listen/talk to their patients and treat them as a body instead of a mind in order to get all their tasks done. And others have somehow found their luck on one of the few appropriately staffed floors out there. Most decide that if no one died, they gave adequate care, and settle for that, and over time dismiss the hope that they can give excellent care to every patient on every shift - (its just impossible). But do keep in mind that I'm talking from a med/surg perspective so I can't comment on the specialty units like oncology and L&D.

I'd recommend that you look at the other staff on the floor to gauge how things will likely be in your future. Look at the people that have been there a year, 3 years, 10 years, and see if you can get an honest answer from them about their feelings. Are they happy? Ask the floats that come to your floor their thoughts too, I've found them to be most helpful in having a broad range of experience and knowledge.

I wouldn't dismiss nursing all together, but if you are feeling physical symptoms because of work, I'd consider transferring to another job. You've put in your time. And keep in mind, there is more to nursing than just the hospital.

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Specializes in ICU & Med/Surg.

Thank you very much for responding. I really think it is the patient load and some of the issues at the hospital where I work. I moved out of California for my job as a new grade because I was not able to get a new grad job in California. I love where I live now but have decided to move my family back to California asap where I will never have more than five patients, will actually get to take breaks and make more money. Just have to get a job there and it might take a while.......Hopefully I can keep it together where I am while I am waiting. I know that there will be issues at evey hospital, but hope that with less patients, I will like my job. I have to at least try, right? If I am still this unhappy, then I will have to try something that is not floor nursing. :) Thanks again!

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Hello I a currently in the same situation and have completed my first year as a med-surg nurse after graduating this February. I do not look forward to my job. There has been some major cost cutting and short staffing with the economy. I often cry as well as the others that are new. When I talk with older nurses on the floor most are waiting out for there retirement, and have resigned themselves to the situation. I don't want to spend 30 + years being unhappy. I decided to take another position in OP HD. I figure it will give me another skill in nursing. I just think if I stay where I am I am resigning myself to being unhappy. There are many areas of nursing. I am going to give another a try. I also have a back up plan to become a teacher if this doesn't work out. I just am not spending multiple years of my life miserable. Life is too short.

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Specializes in Pediatric Nursing.

I took my "dream job" as a pediatric acute care nurse 7 months ago. Believe me, at that time, I was sooo excited. I loved my job. Now, not so much. The hustle in acute care is just way too much. I don't look forward to going to work. I actually recently called off for the first time. People are noticing a change in me. My passion and fire is gone. My patience is out the door. Acute care is freaking hard work. And that's what I feel like it is now, "work". Med passes, admits, crying babies, abused children with no parents, etc etc etc. I was told, "You haven't been in it long enough to know if this is for you." I KNOW it's not for me. I am too starting to have physical symptoms of STRESS. I AM BURNT OUT. I NEED something slower paced. We can't escape stress and hard work. That's life. I know. But why not find something that I enjoy. Even though I work 3 days a week, why is it that I feel like I'm at work all the time? I work nights so when I have 2 nights off, it's really on 1 because I spend one of those days sleeping. And if I work Monday, Wednesday, Friday Sunday then even though sunday is the start of the next week, it's like I worked 4 nights a week 12 long hours long each. I don't want to end up hating nursing because at this rate if I don't leave my current position, I'll end up hating it. The whole, "you need 1 year experience" really depends on where you go. I've seen it time and time again where 1 yr experience didn't matter when being hired. I've had a fantastic experience clinical wise at my job.. i will say that. But if I continue at this rate, I'll drop dead and that's not what I'm going to do! Unfortunately even my manager told me that the times in acute care are becoming increasingly tough and that's just how it is.

Let's all find where we are destined to be.

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i'm sorry you're going through this, but i'd say that it's pretty much the norm in nursing. i've had a love/hate relationship with nursing since my first year in 1996. i'm still in it, still doing patient care (L&D) which i enjoy SOOOOO much better than 'floor' nursing, but it's still very fast pace and high stress but we do get to spend more time with out pts than other nurses. but still, it's a constant battle to try and get approval for more nurses, and then as soon as they hire a new one, another one quits, so it's a continuous cycle. i will say that nursing has gotten easier over the years because you become more confident, you find ways to become more efficient and manage your time better. and you become more 'hardened' sadly, you realize that you cannot spend 15 min talking with each patient every time you enter their room. you learn to go with the flow and keep your head above water. give it some more time. or else handle as much of it as you possibly can, then seek work in another department that you may enjoy better. good luck! p.s. i'm finally making the move to nursing education after 14 yrs of pt care and i'm a bit nervous because i know i'll miss my patients and my routine. like you said, it's totally love/hate.

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