Lost my first patient

[rnmike22]

I'm not sure how to begin this, but yesterday I lost my first patient. I have dealt with it before in helping my other coworkers, but this was a patient I've been caring for for a few days.

I work on a sub acute rehab unit, and a gentleman came in on Monday. I know him from previous visits to our unit. However, while working on Wednesday, he declined rapidly. He was diagnosed with metastatic cancer but the hope was to get him strong enough to go home. Unfortunately that wasn't the case.

While working on Wednesday evening/night, he declined rapidly. It became increasingly apparent that he would probably not survive the night. Family was present throughout the night. I was in his room often checking on him as well as his family. Close to the end of my shift and the patient declined further, going onto qhour morphine and ativan. He survived the day shift and upon my return at 3pm, he had passed away.

I have been nursing for almost a year and a half now and I have not had to deal with a patient's death. This was honestly one of my most emotional shifts since I had started nursing. As emotional as it was, I am glad to say that I was able to be a part of it. I was able to see him at peace, as well as his family. As much as I would like to say I'm not scared of death, I am. After this experience, I would like to say that it should be welcomed after seeing the suffering he had gone through.

As tough as this shift was, it was an eye opening experience. I never realized how much support a nurse could receive from fellow coworkers. As much as I try to leave work at work, it becomes rather impossible at times after spending close to 24 hours with a family.

[tokebi]

::hugs::

No matter how many more deaths you encounter, I don't think it ever gets easier. We just learn to deal with it better...

Hope you're doing okay...

[agvfc]

: I appreciate you sharing your experience. I remember my first patient dying 31 years ago. I will never forget. And this is what makes you a good nurse. Showing empathy and Caring. However, one needs to look out. A nurse can and should not suffer with every death. Trying to cope with the situation means talking to your peers and may be your manager. Do you have a loss support group in your hospital? How about the chaplain? Don’t try to cope all by yourself. Ask for assistance and stay on the path of being a caring and empathetic nurse.