Little personal

MilliePieRN · Feb 14, 2014

I graduate in May and I've found it harder on my husband than I thought. When I realized how bad it was for him, I just made more of an effort to meet his needs.

I was tired and pushed him away. But just making an effort and doing little things for him (putting my books down and giving a back rub, talking, and maybe watching a movie with him…) really made a huge, huge difference. Both of our lives are much more pleasant. I still study a lot, but try to use my time more wisely, making him a priority on my list, also.

He has always been supportive and didn't complain. I know school is overwhelming, but trying to be less self focused means a lot..

(we have 3 preteen kids that I homeschool, too… talk about being dragged in every direction) We've been married 16 years, just to give you an idea of where we are in our journey.

booboo21 · Feb 14, 2014

Yeah...thanks for telling me! Me and my husband got married last August so it hasn't even been a year yet... :/ I'm glad you guys are good :) I think I'll try watching a movie once a week with him. I'm always just so pilled with homework and clinicals

futurebclpn · Feb 15, 2014

Omg yes! I've been married for almost 14 years and we have 3 kids (ages 4,11 and 12). My marriage is very rocky due to the fact that I am extremely busy and have no time for my husband. Our relationship is even more stressful than nursing school

AngPartridge3 · Feb 15, 2014

Im sorry for yoir troubles. I cant really offer any advice as ive been having issues too and even just got the nerve to also post on here about finalizing our divorce. I dont want you to think its going to happen to you. I hear it will take a lot of effort as a couple when one is in nursing school to keep everything together. Its only for a little while so i hope yall pull through. My husband and i on the other hand, have not, but there was a lack of support. Best wishes to you, hun.

booboo21 · Feb 17, 2014

Ugh I'm sorry my husband and I actually just stated talking about divorce..it's not just school and being stressed, we've had problems for a while and probably got married too soon..I'm going to wait till school is over though to start some long process; I hope all of you and your loved ones work things out!

Enlightenedx · Feb 17, 2014

Guys, divorce should be the LAST thing on your list . Dont throw the stuff, try to repair them instead . Its not like you will stay in nursing school forever ..nursing school is a temporary transition

Best of luck to everyone

cinlou, BSN, MSN, RN · Apr 6, 2014

If you start this journey with a strong relationship and a great deal of communication, explaining to your S.O. what the expectations will be on you this will help. If you have a rocky relationship to start with it will get harder. Sometimes when a S.O. sees you learning and growing they become fearful that you will outgrow them and so they try to hold on to you in what ever manner they can. They are use to you being the person that they started with and you are growing and changing, not all relations can survive this. But if you want it too it will, they will learn to support you and you them, but there needs to be communication. Anything worth having generally speaking is not easy, relationships must be nurtured and fed in order to grow. Don't take each other for granted, you have to say what you are thinking and be honest with each other. They will feel neglected, and there will be arguments, but you need to talk, because you will feel just as neglected. Would it not be as wonderful for them to rub your neck while you are studying or get you a drink, just as much as they wait for you to fix their meals and feed them. It is a two way street but open communication is the only way to make it or break it. Good luck, it will survive if you both want it too.

mfigueroa22 · Apr 6, 2014

I don't know what y'all are going through yet, I'm starting nursing school next month but I do know that no matter how busy you get, if I make time for one person it would be my wife. And not only that, if you were happy before nursing school, don't throw away your marriage for a career, because If you feel the way I do about my wife, none of my accomplishments would feel the same without her. I'm not saying it's easy, I know it won't be. But it also helps to communicate and be on the same page as to what is going on. If you don't have time, let other person know why, talk to them about the assignment or your day at clinical's. Get them involved somehow. But, it's possible to have a career and be married it's just not easy. Good luck to all, and I will be taking the same advice I'm giving y'all next month.