Lie about references?

[LovebugLPN]

Okay, I just went through a divorce about a year ago. During the time I was married I lost a lot of friends. My best friend stood by me. I am filling out applications to get back into nursing but when it gets to references I only have 1. I would use my old boss but I married him so he is out. He says I can use his family but that would be a lie because they are related to me and it says no family members. Would it be better to just write the 1 reference I have and hope they will interview me and then I can explain? I do not think it is good to lie and I don't think I could live with the guilt.

[TazziRN, RN]

Actually it would not leave out the people you listed. They could testify as to your work ethic, because it will show in your everyday life. You could use them as references and explain at interview why you do not have others.

[EmerNurse, BSN, RN]

On the resume, you can get away with "available upon request" but on an application (I hate those), if they give you little boxes for references, that IS a request, in my opinion.

Put down the one you know and leave it at that. I presume you will be giving them a resume which will speak to your work experience in greater detail than the application, so you'll have room to explain at an interview.

I agree with others, if you've taught Sunday School - that's work (albeit volunteer), if you've helped out at a healthfair, same thing.

I have a few good nursing friends from early on, and though we've moved on to other jobs and states, we always know we can use each other as a reference, having once worked together. We didn't supervise each other, but we did work together as RNs. Sort of gives us all a little safety net because we know we can count on each other for a reference, even without warning.

I had a boss once who was (must have been!) bipolar. I got exemplary evals from her every single year, office birthday cards with glowing comments like "whatever would we do without you!" type comments. But oh when she was bad, she could screw you like a cordless screwdriver, and she did. When I left, NOT on good terms with her (was a long time coming), I knew I couldn't count on her for any kind of reference, but I kept every eval, every single card from her, etc. So if it ever came up, she had NO way to justify talking crap about me when I could produce, in writing, 4 years of great comments and evals. It pays to be anal and keep everything, trust me.

Good luck on your job search. I think you'll do great!