Nurses Humor
Published Aug 4, 2002
zumalong
298 Posts
WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN
> > >
> > > To those of us who have children in our lives, whether
> > > they are our own,
> > > grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or
> > > students...here is something to make you chuckle.
> > > Whenever your children are out of control, you can
> > > take comfort from the
> > > thought that even God's
> > > omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After
> > > creating heaven
> > > and earth, God created Adam and
> > > Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"
> > > "Don't what?" Adam replied.
> > > "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
> > > "Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey
> > > Eve...we have forbidden
> > > fruit!!!!!"
> > > "No Way!"
> > > "Yes way!"
> > > "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
> > > "Why"
> > > "Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied,
> > > wondering why He
> > > hadn't stopped creation after making
> > > the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His
> > > children having an apple
> > > break and He was ticked!
> > > "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
> > > "Uh huh," Adam replied.
> > > "Then why did you?" said the Father.
> > > "I don't know," said Eve.
> > > "She started it!" Adam said
> > > "Did not!"
> > > "Did to!"
> > > "DID NOT!"
> > > Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment
> > > was that Adam and
> > > Eve should have children of their
> > > own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never
> > > changed.
> > > BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
> > > If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give
> > > children wisdom and
> > > they haven't taken it, don't be hard on
> > > yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what
> > > makes you think it
> > > would be a piece of cake for you?
> > > THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
> > > 1. You spend the first two years of their life
> > > teaching them to walk and
> > > talk. Then you spend the next sixteen
> > > telling them to sit down and shut up.
> > > 2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your
> > > own children.
> > > 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat
> > > their young.
> > > 4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually
> > > repeat word for
> > > word what you shouldn't have said.
> > > 5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is
> > > to remind yourself
> > > that there are children more awful than
> > > your own.
> > > 6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still
> > > getting in.
> > > ADVICE FOR THE DAY!
> > > Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing
> > > home.
> > > AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET
> > > A HEADACHE, DO
> > > WHAT IT SAYS ON
> > > THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY
> > > FROM CHILDREN"
nrs2bme
71 Posts
Lol! Thanks I really needed that- Ive been feeling guilty about being too hard on my little girl... and realizing that I need to relax!
S
karenG
1,049 Posts
my dad always says daughters are God's revenge on men for what they got up to as teenagers!!!! glad I have sons!