Keeping the Other Half Happy

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This is kind fo a half-nursing, half- relationship question. It is kind of a random question, but I wanted to hear from other nurses (male or female) about what your spouses do for work. We are looking at relocating and there is the familiar stress of trying to figure out what my husband is going to do (or if he'll even be able to get a job in this economy). It is very stressful and even though I don't even mind if he stays home at first after we move, he feels useless and like he is not providing for his family. DO others struggle with this since nursing is such an employable field (usually). I fear for the stress it may cause on us, but we both want to move. Anyway, just looking for how other people deal with that if it is a problem for you. Thanks!

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Specializes in L&D, PP, Nursery.

What type of work does your husband do? Does he have a degree or particular skills?

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MeganAK, I am going through the same thing right now. My husband is currently unemployed (he was in construction) and I am working. It has really taken a toll on him. We both are very worried about our finances. I am interested in hearing others responses. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. I try to be optimistic...maybe a move or looking down a different path will change things in a positive way. :)

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My husband is a jack of all trades, which can be good or bad depending on where we are living. HE has been an EMT, Orthopedic Tech, ER Tech, has done construction, EMS Administration, and Maintenance for the DOT. But he does not have a degree and the EMS certifications that we have are only good in Alaska. We'll see..... I am trying to encourage him to go back to school, but he is really anxious to get 'settled', buy a house, etc., and that is much less possible if he is in school, not working.

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I have always earned more than my husband. He left the military after we had been married for about 5 years. Although he is very intelligent he never went to college and entered the work force at an entry level position. He has since held supervisory positions but makes 1/3 of what I do working full time as an RN. From the beginning we realized I had greater earning potential. But it was and always be "our" income. A combination of what he makes and what I make. He also has always contributed on the home front. We are very equal partners with our children and both do yardwork as well as housework, and that makes our marriage work. :heartbeat

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It depends on the guy. My wife makes more than I do as an executive, but I live a lifestyle consistent with what I can afford on my salary alone. For me it has nothing to do with male/female dynamics and everything with my own sense of indepence and dislike of accepting help from other people with something I can do on my own. If we lived in the huge house we could afford I would feel very uncomfortable with that. But there are other personal beliefs involved in that as well.

You know your husband better than any strangers on a message board, so if you think he'll be stressed and miserable not working than he probably will.

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Specializes in psych. rehab nursing, float pool.

I often hear at home " I feel useless. I wish I could go to work instead of you" Yes, darlin very much does feel useless. He worked for 30 years then unexpectedly had a stroke. His health has been down hill since. He hates being dependent on me not only do I bring in more money than his social security , but he needs physcial assistance. This was something neither of us dreamed of. You see he was a doctor. His ego has been shattered, his body has betrayed him. I do what you most like do. I tell him how much I love him and would not have it any other way if it meant he were not with me. Finances, of course I worry just as you all do. We try and count our blessings, we try and cherish each day. On the worst days we snap at each other then apologize, after all we are both human.

All you can do is be supportive at this time of economic strife in your life. You are blessed that you have each other to lean on. That is what is most important in any relationship.

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You are so right! Thank you for snapping me back into reality. We ARE lucky and blessed to have each other and we have made it through some crazy stuff already so this is no big deal. Man, see, sometimes it just takes someone else to remind me of what I have. THANK YOU! Your husband must be struggling with his own situation, but you are fortunate to have each other!

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Specializes in Psychiatric.

My husband was in the National Guard when we married and went full-time Coast Guard 3 years later. We've been married for a little over 12 years now. There have been times in our marriage where we had to roll pennies to buy groceries but we made it through LOL. He's an E5, or 2nd class Petty Officer now, and works on helicopters as a Flight Mechanic...does Search/Rescue and turns wrenches on the choppers. He makes the same amount of money as I do and life's pretty good for now but I ALWAYS remember what life was like only a few years ago and I thank my lucky stars every day for him...he's my best bud. :)

Best of luck to you and your family!

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