Published Oct 14, 2004
A classmate of mine sent these to me today - you may have seen something similar, but these are hiliarious and definitely worth reading!!
ACTUAL SENTENCES FOUND ON PATIENTS' HOSPITAL CHARTS:
1) She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she
was hot in bed last night. :rotfl:
2) Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a
3) On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it
4) The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears
to be depressed.
5) The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in
6) Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
7) Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but
8) The patient refused autopsy. :chuckle
9) The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10) Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11) Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with
only a 40 pound weight gain in the past 3 days. :imbar
12) Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13) Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady
14) Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you
might want to work her up.
15) She is numb from her toes down.
16) While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
17) The skin was moist and dry.
18) Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
19) Patient was alert and unresponsive.
20) Rectal examination revealed a normal sized thyroid. :rotfl:
21) She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life,
until she got a divorce.
22) I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for
23) Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
24) Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
25) The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
26) The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a
job as a stockbroker instead.
27) Skin: somewhat pale but present.
28) The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
29) Patient was seen in consultation by Dr Blank, who felt we should
sit on the abdomen and I agree.
30) Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
31) Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I WAS EATING AND ALMOST CHOKED.tHANKS, THIS IS GOOD.
Oh man, did I need a good laugh!!!!! Thanks, SG
Lol, how funny! :rotfl:
Kids wanted to know what was so funny -- read a couple to them and got some raised eyebrows and blank stares...... HMMMMM! I think they are funniest to those of us who can imagine a Doc writing them!! Thanks!! Needed the laugh!!:rotfl:
wonderbee, BSN, RN
Cute. Funny. I especially liked the brown stool ambulating down the hall.
sabRN2b05, BSN, RN
Glad everyone has enjoyed so far. :) My personal favorites are #9, #19 and #24.
I'm having to stiffle laughter here so not to wake everyone....LOL! Thanks for sharing! :chuckle
LOL. I liked Pt has no previous Hx of suicides
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