Just in need of some support

[Scorpio, MSN, RN]

Hello all,

I love this forum I read a lot of stories and see a lot of support, and I feel like I am in need of some. I graduated last May from nursing school and felt I had the world at my fingertips. I was top of my class and had great experience under my belt. I applied to a bunch of new grad programs and different positions in and around the city I lived in. After months and months, all I kept getting were rejections. I lived in a big city with a lot of teaching hospitals and figured I would find SOMETHING! Well, a lot of the hospitals were on budget cuts, or only hired internally (its all who you know and I didn't know anyone working in those hospitals). So months later (when all my loans were about to start coming in) I was getting so nervous. Finally I got a job offer from a small community hospital 75 miles away from where I lived. The commute was horrendous and I finally had to move.

Fast forward to months later I am currently living in this new city (which is rated high among the most dangerous in the state) and work on a floor where the patient ratio is absurd and sometimes downright unsafe! Luckily I work with some great nurses alongside, but most of the time they are too busy to help if needed. I feel like I can barely use my brain or critical thinking skills because I am pulled in 45664 different directions and just try to take the best care I can of 6-7 very sick patients on a cardiac step down unit! Needless to say, I am 75 miles from my family, my friends and everything I knew. This job has now gone one step further and because of their staffing difficulties ( I wonder why) they have now put me on a day/night rotation and I switch up every few days-weeks. I am now getting WAY too much sleep on my days off or not getting sleep for days because this schedule is killing me. They are starting to put me on most weekends now too (even though it was supposed to be e/o but they say they are short for now and it is appreciated that I help them out for now), and I NEVER am able to see my family or friends who only have weekends off.

So I unfortunately find myself falling into a bit of depression, I worked very hard and I can't believe this is what it has come to. Sometimes I get so sick just thinking about going to work, and I actually called out tonight because I thought I was going to just lose it (but I feel SO guilty : ( ). I have been applying for new jobs for a while now and have only interviewed for one place of which I have not heard back yet. It has been a little over a week since I have interviewed, hopefully they will cal me soon with an offer.

I see a new job closer back to my home as the only way back to happiness, and I pray I get that new job. I am just lonely down here and feel like my nursing career should be more enjoyable because it is such a wonderful rewarding profession. I am sorry this is so long, but does anyone have anything similar they are going through or went through at one time? Any advice on how to cheer up and get through this? Thank you everyone for taking the time to read this.

[Halinja, BSN, RN]

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. ((((hugs))))

It is a great profession, but not all positions are great positions. I hope you get a job better suited to your life. Keep looking until you do. Life is too short to be miserable.

I only lasted about 7 months in my first position after graduating. It just wasn't the right fit for me. I was stressed out and unhappy, often in tears, or sick to my stomach with the stress. There were no negative effects from leaving, and there were many many benefits, including driving to work with a smile on my face.

[pRNss808]

I know EXACTLY how you're feeling because I'm sort of going through the same thing. I get anxious and queasy before work. I have the "seasoned" nurses chewing me out. When I ask for help, their response is usually, "Oh...you're supposed to know." Work is only 5 minutes away. But I feel like the short distance is not worth this kind of stress. So you're not the only one...

[ArborVitae]

I'm going to be starting Nursing School in a few months, so I have not had the experience of landing in a hospital so far away from where you had hoped, but, in my own life I've found that sometimes God allows us to take a few detours before we end up where we want to be. I worked for an extremely difficult family as a nanny (both were doctors) it came to a point where I had to leave, on good terms, but I knew it was time. I family I nanny for now is a dream!! And I believe I wouldn't appreciate them half as much as I do if I hadn't worked for the family before.

Be encouraged, this wont be forever, and it'll keep you grateful when you're done.

[lpnflorida]

Not being with family and friends is a very difficult transition. My family and best friends live 1800 miles away. It was hardest the first year and second year. It has gotten much better. Once a year I get together with my best friends we plan a week vacation that we all can enjoy together. Family, well sometimes I get to go north and visit them sometimes they come and visit me.

Are family and friends able to come and visit you ? I understand working weekends when they are off, but sometimes just being able to spend a few hours with a familiar face makes a world of difference.

I do hope for you, that you are able to find a job closer to home and if not. I wish good vibes in finding new friends in your current area.

[Scorpio, MSN, RN]

Just an update, I finally found a new job up near my hometown and family! I accepted a position as an OR nurse!! So thank you for all of your support I am glad this tough time has passed. : ):yeah:

[Scorpio, MSN, RN]

prnss808, i hope you find something that makes your quality of life better! Are you looking for something else right now? I wish you luck in your quest :) hang in there