Just looking for commonality and support

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I am a married 35 year old mother of 3 beautiful children aged 4, 7 and 18. I am beginning full time nursing school this week and I just feel like I need a little support here. I always go to my sisters for support but in this case I don't think any of them can really relate. I will be working part time also (two evenings and every other weekend).

I have tried to prepare my family for this but quickly realize they are so incredibly dependent on me. Even my husband pouts for attention sometimes. It is also my sons senior year and he will be joining the army just days after graduation. He is involved in football and wrestling and he is probably the easiest person in the entire family to satisfy so he understands that I wont be at as many games as he may like.

I have wanted to be a nurse my whole life but the universe had a way of making that impossible for so long. Right now in my life I feel I am at a do or die point! I am ready to sacrifice my all to get what I want and what my family needs. Even with me working full time (as a patient care tech) with bonus shifts we were just brushing by financially. I am not only cutting the income to the family but I am adding the cost of full time daycare to the household budget. This is why I decided to remain part time at work but I don't think my family realizes what that means.

This is my last day with no homework or studying, my last day to relax with my family and I cant seem to do it because my mind keeps running. I just feel like the weight of the world is on me and the overwhelming feeling that EVERYONE needs me! My husband, my son, my daughters, my friends, my family I just feel like they just don't get it they think I am overexaggerating when I say they need to learn to live without me for awhile. Just today I have been for lack of a better word harassed for attention. Obviously my kids and husband will be priority but my work called they need help they are desperate then my best friend she wants to hang out and bbq. I did say HELL NO to both my work and friend but I feel so bad about it I guess it will get better. I know I need to use today to get my week in order and that means I need to stay home and focus on just that but its so hard. I just want to know if there are moms out there that can suggest things for me to get over this constant guilt. Oh and I'd love to hear that I am not crazy for wanting and expecting all this to turn out great.

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Specializes in Peds CVICU.

Hey there! Not a mom...but I can tell you from watching my wife shift from stay at home mom to full time student and part time employee that everyone adjusted just fine. Your nurturing ways probably set a high bar for everyone, but the truth is that they'll all head off on their own paths at some point and you'll be left with yours. Remember that eating, sleeping, and shelter are biological drives and staying clean/somewhat clothed is a strong societal norm...they'll adapt and figure it out. Can't speak much to your finances & marriage, but I don't think you would have undertaken this if you didn't think you'd come out of it in better shape all around. Let them grow and give them the chance to support you.

Are you jumping in a BSN program mid-way or doing an ABSN? I start school in January...interested to hear about your experience. Good luck & please update.

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I'm a mom, and all i can say is i know your fears. I have only applied and wont know if I'm in until next month but i still panic when i remember how much everyone and i mean EVERYONE, even the dogs, rely on me in this house. My kids are 3 and 4, daughter turns 5 next week and starts pre k next month also and all of it has me in a whirlwind of apprehension. I think what has me the most worried is that everything will fall apart half way through.

What keeps me going and what should keep you going too is that EVERY other person works it out somehow. A million other moms figure out having kids and husbands and nursing school so we can too. It will probably be chaotic, and hard on everyone and we might miss out on things BUT we can make it through if we just keep taking it one day at a time. And probably have to let some of the housework slide for a while too, but itll be okay!!

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I will being doing BSN directly after but it’s online. I am sure they will all be ok but of course just like most moms we just worry.

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Specializes in ICU.

Hey there momma! I am a mother to a 1 1/2 year old.. he was just 1 year old when I began my first semester of nursing school, and now we're ramping up for second semester! I was worried about missing a lot of time with him because of clinical, school and work... but if you plan your days out to be finished with your school responsibilities by 4-5pm (aside from clinical days) I found that most all my evenings and weekends were spent with my husband and son. We even went on weekend trips to the zoo and aquarium during the semester. I was able to make this happen because I spent every chance I had getting ahead on my assignments, quizzes, discussion board posts etc. I started my assigned readings the same weeks the semester started and stayed ahead. I looked in blackboard to see what was upcoming and started working on it so I had time to complete my work, revise it and turn in something I was happy with. I also took my laptop with me on long car rides and worked on med sheets or other assignments that I could work on without the internet - and if I needed the internet, I turned on my hotspot on my phone and used it. Also if you have the help of your parents, or your husband's parents with picking up the kids or watching them if you have a lot of work due USE THEM. I cannot stress this enough. My parents live 4 hours away from me but drove up whenever I needed them and stayed with me to pick up my son from daycare, and spend time w/ him (I didn't want him to be at daycare from open to close). I felt like I was asking a lot of them but they said they were willing to do whatever it takes for me to be successful, and I am so thankful for them helping me! Your family wants you to succeed too! Just take everything day by day - try to get to bed at a reasonable time, eat nutritious meals, and start studying for your exams weeks in advance. Don't overextend yourself and try to get 1 days or rest a week - even if that means doing your reading assignments and laying on the couch or working on assignments that aren't due for another month or so to get ahead. Good luck to you and let me know if you need any advice!

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Specializes in Neuro.

Mom with 2 very small kiddos when I went through school. All I can say is your family will find a new normal when you get into the thick of it all. It may be a little chaotic to start off with and at times when you're really busy, it'll be chaotic, but it will work out. When you can, give some time to your spouse, cause it will be a big adjustment for him as well. It'll be hard, but on occasion, try to just have dinner or a movie with him alone, or sit on the couch and watch tv laying next to one another. I was barely ever able to do that during school, but, those few times I did, we made it count.

It was a rough few years, but we came out the other side together & managed to keep the kids alive and happy. We joke that we survived that, so now we can probably almost anything. Take heart, it'll be rough at times, but if you commit to it, it can and will be done. There will be sacrifice, but remember to take time cherish the moments you get with your kids and husband. Now go get that degree.

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