Just For Your Pleasure!!!

28 lines to make you smile

1. my husband and i divorced over religious differences. he thought he was god and i didn't. :chuckle

2. i don't suffer from insanity; i enjoy every minute of it.

3. i work hard because millions on welfare depend on me! :uhoh21:

4. some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. :chuckle

5. i used to have a handle on life, but it broke. :rotfl:

6. don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

7. you're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

8. beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.:cheers:

9. earth is the insane asylum for the universe. :chuckle

10. i'm not a complete idiot --some parts are missing.

11. out of my mind. back in five minutes. :rotfl:

12. nyquil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

13. god must love stupid people; he made so many.

14. consciousness: that annoying time between naps. :rotfl:

15. ever stop to think, and forget to start again? :smackingf

16. being "over the hill" is much better than being under it! :chuckle

17. wrinkled was not one of the things i wanted to be when i grew up.

18. procrastinate now!

19. a hangover is the wrath of grapes.

20. a journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

21. stupidity is not a handicap. park elsewhere!

22. they call it pms because mad cow disease was already taken.

23. he who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.

24. a picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

25. ham and eggs. a day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.:chuckle

26. the trouble with life is there's no background music.

27. the original point and click interface was a smith and wesson. :uhoh21:

28. i smile because i don't know what the hell is going on.

thank ya, thank ya, thank ya very much!:thankya:

[sunfirebsn]

He he he..thanks for some laughs!! :chuckle :chuckle :chuckle :roll :yelclap:

[mishayla96]

:w00t: those were cute, thanks!

[live4today, RN]

These are my favorites of the pickings: :)

25. Ham and eggs--A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.:rotfl:

14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. :rotfl:

04. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. :chuckle

05. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. :rotfl:

11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. :rotfl: