Published Feb 9, 2005
28 lines to make you smile
1. my husband and i divorced over religious differences. he thought he was god and i didn't. :chuckle
2. i don't suffer from insanity; i enjoy every minute of it.
3. i work hard because millions on welfare depend on me! :uhoh21:
4. some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. :chuckle
5. i used to have a handle on life, but it broke. :rotfl:
6. don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
7. you're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
8. beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.:cheers:
9. earth is the insane asylum for the universe. :chuckle
10. i'm not a complete idiot --some parts are missing.
11. out of my mind. back in five minutes. :rotfl:
12. nyquil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
13. god must love stupid people; he made so many.
14. consciousness: that annoying time between naps. :rotfl:
15. ever stop to think, and forget to start again? :smackingf
16. being "over the hill" is much better than being under it! :chuckle
17. wrinkled was not one of the things i wanted to be when i grew up.
18. procrastinate now!
19. a hangover is the wrath of grapes.
20. a journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
21. stupidity is not a handicap. park elsewhere!
22. they call it pms because mad cow disease was already taken.
23. he who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
24. a picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
25. ham and eggs. a day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.:chuckle
26. the trouble with life is there's no background music.
27. the original point and click interface was a smith and wesson. :uhoh21:
28. i smile because i don't know what the hell is going on.
thank ya, thank ya, thank ya very much!:thankya:
He he he..thanks for some laughs!! :chuckle :chuckle :chuckle :roll :yelclap:
These are my favorites of the pickings: :)
25. Ham and eggs--A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.:rotfl:
14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. :rotfl:
04. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. :chuckle
05. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. :rotfl:
11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. :rotfl:
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