I suffer from mild depression and sometimes I get violent thoughts though I am not a violent person. A guy in my class is very entitled and makes rude comments at people during class. My friend who is the nicest person was complaining about him which would just aggrivate me more. I decide to go to Psychological services at my school and seek help.
After telling them the situation, long story short they 302 me and notify the guy who I didn't like that he is possible under threat. Police arrive at my apartment, put me in handcuffs, and drive me to a crisis center. Im locked in a room for 3.5 hours. They question me several times. I'm very articulate and I explain everything well. The doctor passes me with flying colors.
Next day I get sent to disciplinary office, where they tell me if I do anything I will be kicked out. I lost it at this point because I did everything right up until that point. I passed evaluation and all I had was a thought of doing something violent. But I did nothing. I started yelling at him.
So fast forward this whole situation I'm under extreme stress. I have to deal with the rumors spreading. The director of nursing program heard about the situation and started to freak out. I couldn't sleep at night. Only got 2-4 hours of sleep. I basically couldn't study and got 1 week behind. I started screwing up at clinical (which I was doing well in previously.) They give me extra assignments to do for remediation. This past Sunday during clinical I talk to my clinical instructor and decided to leave so that I could study for my exam this past Tuesday. At this point I'm already burnt out doing all the remediation assignments, studying for the exam which I probably did well in.
Now they fail me for my clinical rotation so I fail the course.
They said I could appeal the grade but it will not be likely that the appeal would succeed. They told me I might need a break, or maybe think about switching careers. I come from a holistic background. I highly disagree with the surgeries being done. I want to become a nurse practitioner because they are more holistic, so in a way nursing is just a stepping stone.
I'm not sure. Is my failure due to me not really wanting to be a nurse? Or maybe it has to do with the situation with the psychological services department.
Right now I am talking with my therapist and researching some intensive therapeutic programs. Maybe something inpatient. I need to get my issues resolved before even attempting to become any type of professional. Whether it be a nurse, I don't know but that is not important at the moment.
It's great that you are receiving further counsel and treatment. Best of luck wherever your journey takes you.
I've actually been doing lots of research on Physical therapy programs in my area. Looks like I have all pre-reqs done for a couple programs that do not require a Bachelor's degree in my area.
I come from holistic background. I've been working at a chiropractic office as a massage therapist specializing in injuries. One of the problems I was facing as a nursing student was working with surgical procedures and administering of medications I do not agree with. There is nothing wrong with people who choose this route, but it is not in alignment with my own beliefs. I've enjoyed working at the chiropractic office. During the three years I've worked, I've been exposed to Physical Therapy.
One of the reasons why the clinical instructor failed me was because I didn't show any passion or interest in learning how to conduct procedures. I have to admit this is true due to aforementioned reasons. I was not planning on working in the hospital after graduation since I've already got a home health nursing job lined up through connections. However, doing some work at the hospital via clinical rotation is inevitable and is a portion I must pass. If I do go back to nursing school, it will not be until Fall 2014. The clinical portion will probably be a challenge to pass.
As for the mental health situation, I am getting help from a psychiatrist to prescribe me the correct medication. Also looking into some residential treatment programs.
Right now I am talking with my therapist and researching some intensive therapeutic programs. Maybe something inpatient. I need to get my issues resolved before even attempting to become any type of professional. Whether it be a nurse, I don't know but that is not important at the moment.
While only you and your therapist can decide what your course of therapy will be, I think it's a good thing that you've decided that you need help and are seeking it. You're going to have some significant challenges in healthcare, regardless of which path you take. Physical Therapy is not an easy path either. One of the issues that we have as nurses is that we have to be able to put our own biases on a shelf because it's not what we would do, but rather what is best for the patient, as decided by the patient, in collaboration with the healthcare team. We don't impose our own will upon the patient. I understand you don't necessarily approve of many surgical and medical therapies. That's OK, however, it's not for you to agree with or disagree with. We're here to support the patient.
My own educational path included sports medicine. Believe me, I learned a LOT about rehab/physical therapy. PT is not an easy field. This background does help me with some aspects of patient care because I can explain some of what the PTs want done, or I can see the rationale for why they want something done and I can help motivate the patient toward those goals.
However, as you said yourself, you need to get your own issues worked through. I hope you're able to, and will be able to to re-embark upon your journey through a healthcare field and through life in general. While I can't speak for other nurses here, I can say that I've met quite a few nurses and other healthcare professionals that have had their own issues with stress and have found ways to manage things generally well.
I hope you check back with us here from time to time because we'd like to see you succeed in whatever you choose to do!
minniebrown
64 Posts
It's great that you are receiving further counsel and treatment. Best of luck wherever your journey takes you.